Archive for January, 2010

Misperceptions of Other People

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Have you ever had a wrong perception of someone? I have. A couple of years ago while speaking at a woman’s event in Eastern Europe, I met an elderly woman who struck me as being aloof. My impression wasn’t favorable, and to my fault, I made no effort to get to know her.

Halfway through the weekend, one of the attendees asked me to join her and the senior lady for tea. I obliged. To my amazement, the elderly lady opened up and began sharing stories from her past. She’d survived years in a concentration camp! She told of hiding pages of the Bible in the barracks where she lived as a teenager, and of coming to know Christ as her Savior in that prison.

I listened, captured by her clarity and depth, and sorry for the way I’d misjudged her. My perception was completely wrong, based on nothing more than an initial impression.

Joseph’s brothers were guilty of doing something similar. When their father died, they expected the worst from Joseph. Genesis 50 says they became fearful: “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said (v. 15).

In reality, Joseph had shown only kindness to them and their families. He’d provided food and resettled them in a place of abundance. He’d given no reason for them to think he’d seek revenge, but their imaginations told them otherwise. Their perception of Joseph was all wrong, based on their own guilt for betraying him years prior.

The human nature is complicated, isn’t it? We form opinions about other people based on false impressions. We judge their character based on wrong information. We mistakenly presume based on our own issues. When we do such things, we lose out.

Thankfully my experience with the Eastern European lady taught me a valuable lesson, and I have a hunch that Joseph’s brothers learned a thing or two when he proved their fears unfounded. My desire is to see people as God sees them, not as through my defective lens. I want to think the best rather than assume the worst. By God’s grace, He’ll enable me to do that so I don’t miss out on the blessing that comes from building relationships with others.

Have you ever formed a wrong opinion of someone? If so, how was that opinion proved wrong?

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“I Don’t Want to Hear!”

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Our 2-year-old granddaughter, Anna, adds sunshine to my life. Her memory astounds me. Her mental comprehension amazes me. Her antics make me laugh, and they’re giving me fodder for writing. Here’s one example.

 Anna came for a visit a couple of weeks ago. When lunchtime rolled around, she nibbled and poked at her food for a few moments and then said, “I all done.” I knew she’d be hungry again shortly, so I encouraged her to take one more bite.

How did she respond? My precious wee grandbaby looked directly into my eyes and slapped her hands over her ears. She never said a word, but her actions spoke volumes. They also reminded me of my actions on a spiritual level. Maybe you can relate?

How many times has God tried to coax me to do something for my own good, but I’ve flatly refused to comply? I’ve simply slapped my hands over my ears because I didn’t want to hear what He said. For whatever reason, I’ve felt His Words were too restrictive. Too harsh. Too demanding. And so I’ve shut them out.

In reality, His Words are meant to feed my soul. They’re exactly what I need to heed if I want God’s best. Psalm 19:7,8 say, “The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living.”

Look at the adjectives used to describe God’s words: perfect, trustworthy, right, clear. Now check out the effect they have on us when we listen up – they revive our soul, they make us wise, they bring us joy, and they give us insight for life.

Given this description and the positive effect, why, pray tell, would I refuse to heed? It’s simple. Because I think my way is better. Duh – it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know how absurd that is.

Anna is only two, but she’s already taught her grandma a valuable life lesson. “God, forgive me for the times I’ve slapped my hands over my ears because I didn’t want to hear what You were telling me. Change my heart, and help me live with my ears wide open to Your voice.”

Can you relate?

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My Heroes

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Nearly two years ago, a portion of the sanctuary floor of Central Heights Church in Abbotsford, B.C. (which happens to be the church I attend) collapsed during a Starfield concert. Dozens were injured. Debbie Helsloot, a 41-year-old mother of three, was most seriously hurt.

Debbie suffered a broken neck. She spent more than 6 weeks in the hospital and nearly 3 months in rehab, learning to walk again. Her injuries have left her with balance issues, making walking awkward and climbing stairs a challenge. She requires physical therapy three times a week. Her physical endurance is nowhere near what it was before the accident.

It was my privilege to interview Debbie recently and to write her profile. What an amazing woman she is. While in the hospital, she determined to make the best of a difficult situation so she made it her goal to share Christ’s love with the nurses who cared for her. She refused to be discouraged by the doctors’ prognosis of permanent paralysis. And she rejected any hint of a victim mentality. Instead, she acknowledged God’s sovereignty in her life and has chosen to embrace her circumstances as an opportunity to know His strength in her life to a new degree.

Debbie is my modern-day hero.

Joseph is my hero, too. This guy went through so much stuff – sold into slavery by his own brothers, falsely accused of rape, tossed into prison for a crime he didn’t commit, forgotten by the man who promised to help his case – and yet, he refused to let his circumstances shape his outlook. Like Debbie, he rejected any hint of a victim mentality. He recognized God’s sovereignty in his life, and that attitude shaped his entire perspective. The names he gave his sons reflect this:

“Joseph named his older son Manasseh, for he said, ‘God has made me forget all my troubles and everyone in my father’s family.’ Joseph named his second son Ephraim, for he said, ‘God has made me fruitful in this land of my grief’” (Genesis 41:51,52).

What an attitude! Joseph deliberately chose not to dwell on the way others had mistreated him. He chose not to badmouth his offenders or to seek revenge. Instead, he focused on God’s healing power in his life, and on the good things He’d done in the midst of the tough stuff.

When life takes an unexpected and difficult detour, it’s easy to get sucked into a ‘woe-is-me’ mentality. It takes courage and determination to steer clear of that common pitfall and travel a different route. How is it possible? Here are a few thoughts:

  • Give thanks in all things. We might not feel like giving thanks for our circumstances, but we can give thanks in them. For instance, we can give thanks that God’s love for us will never end, and that His promises never fail.
  • Refuse to dwell on the what-ifs. Instead, dwell on the for-sures. For sure, God has not abandoned us. For sure, the pain of this earthly life is temporal. For sure, heaven awaits where all sorrow and tears will be forever wiped away.
  • Know that God wants to make us fruitful in the land of our grief. When we respond to trials as Debbie and Joseph did, our lives will bear fruit. Our understanding of God’s character is deepened. And we’ll have opportunity to tell others about our reason for hope. Our words will encourage them when they travel the rocky road.

Debbie and Joseph are my heroes. Do you have a hero who has displayed strength and courage in the face of extreme difficulties? If so, tell us about this person so that we can be encouraged, too.

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The Power of a Little Word

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

The word but is neither fancy nor flowery. It’s not loaded with visual imagery. Used alone, it neither stimulates the senses nor sends imaginations soaring. Nevertheless, it’s packed with power and ability to change the direction of our lives.

Take Joseph for instance. When Pharaoh asked him to interpret his dreams, Joseph replied, “It is beyond my power to do this…but God can tell you what it means and set you at ease” (Genesis 41:16).

But. Three letters. One little word. One life instantly and dramatically changed. And millions of others impacted.

Now let’s rewind the story and imagine the scenario minus the word but. Put yourself in the palace as Pharaoh asks for Joseph’s help. This time, Joseph’s first thought is Who, me? I can’t do this! His heart pounds and his palms sweat. Finally he sputters, “It’s beyond my power to do this.” Bad move. He loses his head or lands back in prison with plenty of time for regret.

Thankfully, Joseph forged beyond “it is beyond my power to do this” and put his faith into practice. “It is beyond my power to do this, but God can tell you what it means,” he said. But moved him from prison to palace and gave him a position he’d never imagined.

The word but contains the same life-changing power for us today. It applies to our fear of inadequacy, but there are other scenarios, too:

  • “It’s beyond my power to forgive so-and-so for hurting me…but God can give me the grace necessary to let it go.”
  • “It’s beyond my power to give thanks for the heartache in my life…but God can enable me to do what He commands.”
  • “It’s beyond my power to face another day…but God can give me the strength I need.”

There it is. Three letters. One little word. One life instantly and dramatically changed. And who knows, but maybe millions of other lives impacted.

Here’s your assignment for the day. Fill in the blank. “It’s beyond my power to ____________. But God can __________________.”

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Good News Regarding “Moving From Fear to Freedom”

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Last October, I was told that Moving From Fear to Freedom was going to go out of print in January 2010. I must admit that I felt disappointed. No, my feelings ran deeper than that. How could that happen, I wondered. Fear is a huge issue and it’s not going to disappear anytime soon. I struggled to know how to respond, especially when women’s groups continued to contact me and say how much they appreciated the lessons they were learning as they used it for their small group study.

A few days ago I asked my publisher about buying the leftover copies in the warehouse. To my utter amazement, I learned that the information I’d been told last fall was wrong. The book is not going out of print…at least not until the end of this year. And those plans could change if sales turn around. I feel as though God has breathed a second wind into this book. I can hardly wait to see what He has in store.

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Freedom From Prison

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Last weekend I received an email from a woman who has struggled with anorexia for 35 years. “I’m desperate,” she wrote. “Please, can you share any insights with me? Can you tell me where to find help?”

This woman feels like she’s in a prison. And for good reason. She’s been trapped by untruths that are slowly and persistently devouring her sense of worth. This dungeon holds a death sentence unless she finds a way of escape.  

Each time I speak at weekend retreats, someone approaches me and quietly spills her story. I can almost guarantee it falls into one of these categories: Abortion. Sexual abuse. Alcoholism or drug abuse. Abandonment. An extramarital affair. An  eating disorder. A husband addicted to pornography. A recent loss through death. A prodigal child.

Sometimes these women tell stories of overcoming, of finding that way of escape, and moving into new-found freedom. But often they speak haltingly, their eyes filling with tears as they describe the prison they’re in. The chains of unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, regret, shame, and self-blame offer no mercy. But God does.

To no fault of his own, Joseph spent 14 years in prison. This was a literal dungeon reserved for the most dangerous criminals, but it carried the potential of becoming a prison of the soul, too. How did Joseph survive his experience without becoming enslaved by bitterness? How did he escape the anger that could easily accompany being falsely accused of rape? I think the secret is found in Genesis 39:21. “But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love.”

The Lord was with Joseph then, and He’s with us today. That’s a truth we often forget, especially when our problems feel overwhelming. Here’s another truth – He wants to show us His faithful love in the midst of our difficulties.

We’d prefer that God show us His love by rescuing us and by doing it right now. We want a microwave fix, quick resolutions, easy answers. But life’s not like that. Our journey is often long and arduous, filled with hindrances, hassles, and headaches. But in the midst of it all, God wants to show us evidences of His faithful love. Do we see them when they come?

Personally, God often shows me evidences of His love through songs. Lyrics tiptoe into my thoughts at just the right moment and remind me of His faithfulness, of His strength, of His never-ending love for me. Sometimes He sends a phone call or an email via a friend or one of my readers. Sometimes the evidence is shown through a pithy quote or something I read in a book or magazine. He hugs me from heaven, reminds me of His presence, and I am free.

Now it’s your turn. What evidences have you seen recently of God’s love for you? How has He set you free from the prison of the soul?

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Happy, Happy, Happy?

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Once upon a time I learned a Sunday school chorus that went something like this: “Happy, happy, happy, happy. Happy are the people whose God is the Lord.” As a kid, I enjoyed its simple, lilting tune and easy words. But my opinion changed over the years.

I think my problem lies with the word happy and the implication that God’s followers enjoy a blissful, carefree life.  Nothing could be further from the truth. Real life can be downright tough sometimes. Nearly every week I receive emails from readers – many of them Christian women – who have experienced abuse or have been hurt deeply in the past. They know how to smile on the outside, but on the inside, they’re crying for help and trying to make sense of what’s happened.

The Bible is chock-full of biographies – real people with real problems. Many of them were devout God-followers. And my guess is that they didn’t feel happy, happy, happy all the time. Over the past few days, I’ve been reading about Jacob. This guy was royally ripped-off by his father-in-law.

In Genesis 31:18-41, Jacob explodes, “What is my crime? What have I done wrong to make you chase after me as though I were a criminal? You have rummaged through everything I own…For twenty years I have been with you, caring for your flocks. In all that time your sheep and goats never miscarried. In all those years I never used a single ram of yours for food…No, I took the loss myself! You made me pay for every stolen animal, whether it was taken in broad daylight or in the dark of night. I worked for you through the scorching heat of the day and through cold and sleepless nights. Yes, for twenty years I slaved in your house! I worked for fourteen years earning your two daughters, and then six more years for your flock. And you changed my wages ten times!  (note: another version says “reduced my wages”).

Happy, happy, happy, Jacob was not. So, what enabled him to deal with the mistreatment handed to him by his father-in-law? I think the secret’s found in recognizing God’s sovereignty in his life. “If the God of my father had not been on my side…you would have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen your abuse and my hard work. That is why he appeared to you last night and rebuked you!” (31:42).

Despite enduring two decades of mistreatment, Jacob held fast to the knowledge that God was on his side. And that’s likely what carried him through the dark days when he wondered whether his circumstances would ever change or improve. That’s what gave him the ability to truly smile even when he felt anything but happy, happy, happy.

So long as we’re warm and breathing, we’ll experience problems. We might be tempted to feel as though God has abandoned us. We might feel like He’s left us alone to figure things out, or that He’s turned against us. Our emotions might try to tell us any number of untruths, but let’s remember, as Jacob did, that God is on our side. He sees what’s happening to us, and those hurtful things do not go unnoticed. At some point, whether on this earth or in eternity, He will be our defense.

How about you? What gives you hope when you feel anything but happy, happy, happy?

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Thoughts About Haiti

Friday, January 15th, 2010

I’m taking a break from the devotionals to share my thoughts about Haiti. I’ll see you back here on Monday!

The photo images coming from Haiti’s disaster are disturbing indeed…

Children with bloodied and swollen faces, their eyes glazed and void. A dust-covered mother sitting alone amidst the chaos, cradling her infant and weeping for a life cut short. Men digging with bare hands through tons of broken concrete, hoping to rescue survivors trapped in the rubble beneath them. Sniffer dogs seeking scents in the rubble. Corpses stockpiled and rotting in the streets.  

I watch the news, and my heart breaks for the helpless. For this country crushed by corruption, and this people paralyzed by poverty. For the parents who still haven’t found their children, and for orphans who have suffered too much already. For the families of peacekeepers, aid workers, and missionaries anxiously waiting for word as they watch the 72-hour window close. For those buried alive, gasping for breath and crying for help as their lives slowly ebb.

I sit in the safety and comfort of my home, sip a cup of coffee, and watch the catastrophe unfold on my TV. The images disturb me, but I find myself distracted by the fact that our basement flooded for the third time during this week’s heavy rain. And the fact that my youngest daughter is in Central America and I don’t have phone or email contact with her. And the fact that my husband and I are succumbing to sniffles and sore throats.

My life is so vastly different from the world’s millions, nay, billions who only wish that they had a flooded basement. Or that their children were alive and had the resources to travel. Or that the common cold was their biggest health issue. And because it is so different, it’s difficult to comprehend the anguish portrayed onscreen. It’s also difficult to know how to respond because the problem seems too big to fix.

So, what can we do?

  • We can donate funds to reputable organizations such as World Vision, Power to Change, and Red Cross. There are many others out there with the ability to translate dollars into practical assistance. The Canadian government has promised to match up to $50 million dollars, so let’s make our money work.
  • We can pray for the survivors – that more will be found. That their wounds will not become infected. That their broken bones will not set in a way that will cause lifelong deformities. And that God will mercifully heal them psychologically from the trauma they’ve experienced. The list of their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs is endless.
  • We can pray for the safety and health of rescue workers, especially as the potential for disease spreads and the threat of public anger rises.
  • We can pray for aid to arrive quickly and without hindrances.
  • We can pray that this disaster will be a catalyst of spiritual life for this broken nation.

“God, guard our hearts from complacency or thinking there’s nothing we can do because we live so far away. Move us with compassion…open our eyes to the things unseen…break our hearts over what breaks Yours. And teach us how to respond in a way that’s both helpful to others and pleasing to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

What are your thoughts on what’s happening? Has your life been personally impacted by thus tragedy? If so, how?

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Families Can Be So Weird!

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

As a kid, I remember watching a TV show titled, “The Munsters.”  Lily, the family matriarch, was a housewife who used a vacuum that worked in reverse, thereby blowing dust about the mansion. Her husband, Herman, was a good-natured, green-skinned, 7-foot buffoon, employed at a local funeral parlor. Grandpa, sarcastic by nature, spent his days concocting potions in the basement laboratory and owned a pet bat named Igor. Eddie – apart from being a werewolf and sleeping in a coffin – played the role of a typical American boy. And Marilyn….well, compared to the rest of her family, she seemed almost normal. Her family didn’t view her that way, though. They considered her the “odd one” of the bunch and pitied her. It’s too bad her suitors wouldn’t stick around. I wonder why.

Each character was unique in a strange sort of way, and each believed he or she was normal. In one episode, Lily opened a beauty salon because she thought other women would want to model her appearance. Needless to say, her business fell flat.

I chuckle at “The Munsters” and how, in a spoofy way, it depicted families worldwide. Let’s admit it – many lean toward the weird side. Dysfunction is so rampant that it seems the norm. That was true back in Bible days, too.

Remember Rebekah? This conniving mother encouraged and aided Jacob, her favorite son, in deceiving his blind father so he could receive (a.k.a. “steal”) his brother’s blessing (Genesis 27). Later, Jacob fled to his uncle Laban’s territory and fell in love with his cousin, Rachel. He asked permission to marry her. Uncle Laban said yes, but then he tricked Jacob on the wedding night by bringing Rachel’s older sister, Leah, into the bridal tent. Waking up beside his sister-in-law must have given Jacob a royal shock!

Besides that drama, we find Esau trying desperately to please his parents by marrying a wife who would hopefully meet their approval (they didn’t like his other two wives, apparently – Genesis 28:6-9). And we find Leah feeling rejected and jealous because Jacob obviously loved Rachel more than her (Genesis 29:31-35). Imagine celebrating Christmas or Thanksgiving with this bunch!

You know what amazes me? The fact that God accomplishes His purposes despite our dysfunctional shortcomings. If He used only perfect people, He’d be outta luck. And so, He takes us, as needy as we are, and weaves us into a divine tapestry. And He remains faithful.

Maybe you look at your family and think it warrants a TV show of its own. Dysfunction’s not the easiest thing in the world to deal with, but remember – nothing is impossible for God to fix, or to give you the strength to cope. Let Him love your loved ones through you, and let Him work in their hearts. Keep on praying. Keep on trusting. Keep on smiling. And remember – you might consider yourself as the only normal one of the bunch, but they might be viewing you otherwise!

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When God Calls our Kids to Missions

Monday, January 11th, 2010

This morning I woke to a power outage. No obvious reason for it – no windstorms, no snow, nothing but rain. Nonetheless, the house was dark. I tried reading my Bible by candlelight but that was nearly impossible. I switched to a flashlight, but the small print made reading an arduous task. I finally closed my Bible and crawled back into bed until the power was restored an hour later. To think I lived for two full years without electricity once upon a time.

Missions Fest Vancouver was held this past weekend. Gene and I manned our International Messengers booth, and I taught two workshops. We spoke with so many people and answered so many questions that my voice is hoarse today.

When doing missions conferences such as this, I’m always thrilled to meet parents who are actively encouraging their kids to become involved. It grieves me to see the opposite happen. And believe me, it does. It’s disheartening….no, it’s tragic…to meet solid Christian young people who want to pursue missions only to have their parents dissuade them. In many cases, it’s because of the parents’ fear for their kids’ well-being.

I can understand their emotions. After all, I have three kids of my own, and they’ve all traveled abroad for missions. I know what it feels like to watch your teens board a plane or a train and wave goodbye with no guarantee of their safe return. And yet, I know I can’t protect my children 24/7 even if they stayed on North American soil. Is God not big enough to keep them in His care no matter where they go? Isn’t being in the center of His will the safest place to be?

This morning I read about a mother and brother who hesitated to let their daughter/sister leave home to see God’s will fulfilled for her life. That girl was Rebekah – Isaac’s bride. Abraham’s servant had identified her as God’s choice for Isaac. He’d asked for her family’s approval to take her back to Abraham’s country. They’d agreed, but changed their minds when it came time to say goodbye. “But we want Rebekah to stay with us at least ten days,” her brother and mother said. “Then she can go” (Genesis 24:55).

I’m thankful they were open to negotiation. When Abraham’s servant protested, they said, “We’ll call Rebekah and ask her what she thinks.” So they called Rebekah. “Are you willing to go with this man?” they asked her. And she replied, “Yes, I will go.”

I love what they did next – they sent Rebekah’s childhood nurse with her, and they gave her a blessing: “Our sister, may you become the mother of many millions! May your descendants be strong and conquer the cities of their enemies” (vv. 57-61).

Rebekah was willing to go far from family and friends because God was obviously working in her life and directing her path. Her family respected that. In fact, they sent her on her way with a helper and a blessing. Do we do the same for our kids? Do we respect their willingness to go when God is obviously leading them, or do we clench our dreams for them in a tight fist? Do we send them on their way with financial and material support, or do we cave in to our fears for their well-being?  

When God ignites a passion for missions in our kids’ hearts, let’s fuel that passion and encourage them to follow Him. Is doing so easy? No. But God’s grace is sufficient.

Have you ever struggled with this issue? If so, how did you overcome it?

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