Canadian author Christine Lindsay shares a deeply personal story with us today. She shows how God writes the stories of our lives even when we think we’ve messed up beyond hope. He heals the broken places in our hearts in amazing and tender ways.
Thirty-five years ago, I gave up my baby to a Christian couple unable to have children. I wasn’t married, and I thought giving my baby to these adoptive parents was the best thing I could ever do for my child. But I named her Sarah, in the hope that one day I would see her again.
The loss of my first child crushed me in ways I didn’t even know I could hurt. That emotional pain defined who I would be for the rest of my life.
I hung on to what I felt was a promise from God—that He would one day reunite Sarah and me…when she was an adult…and give us a close birth-mom and birth-daughter relationship.
God was so good to me. A year later I met my sweet husband David, and as the years passed, our three children filled my empty arms.
Now skip ahead. Twenty years later my birth-daughter, Sarah, and I were reunited.
Adoption reunions are not easy for anyone. After the reunion I began to relive my original loss of Sarah. It just hurt so much. She was my child and yet she was not my child. But worse, it didn’t appear that my long-desired special relationship would develop. I felt hurt and angry with God for disappointing me. I had prayed so long and hard for this.
A few months after meeting Sarah, my husband caught me crying on our living room couch one day. He slipped out and returned a while later with a brand new pen and journal. He placed these items into my hands and said, “Here honey, write it.”
That was the start. My journaling turned into books as the years passed. But always beneath anything that I write, is the understanding of loss and loneliness, heartbreak, and the healing and joy that only God can bring.
I began to realize that none of my children, including Sarah, could fill that emptiness in my heart. As much as I desired a close relationship with all my children, I was designed for a close relationship with my Heavenly Father.
A few years later, I felt the Lord encourage me to put the emotional and spiritual healing that He’d given me into fictional stories to help others. The day came that my debut novel about the British Raj in India was about to be released–a story that has nothing to do with adoption. My publisher, WhiteFire, and I were excited as we discussed the cover design.
It wasn’t until later that I realized—that without my ever planning or imagining it—God had not only inspired me to write because of my sadness over losing my first child to adoption, but He then placed the face of my beautiful muse on the front cover of my book. Only our Heavenly Father can do something so intricately tender. But the Lord wasn’t finished blessing me yet.
A few months after Shadowed in Silk was released, my birthdaughter Sarah and her husband Mark came to visit. They told us that they felt called to go into fulltime missionary work with Global Aid Network. They would be working with several organizations around the world that specifically helps widows and orphans. One of the missions in their sphere of interest would be the Ramabai Mukti Mission in India.
When I heard this I nearly fell off my chair in amazement. I had never told Sarah, but the true-life Ramabai who started the Mukti mission in India was the inspiration behind my novel. Many years prior, I had prayed for the Lord to give Sarah and I a special relationship. It took a while, but He knit our hearts together in the respective work He gave each of us to do.
We have to remember that we serve a God who delights in working with little people and small things—a shepherd boy, a few smooth stones. A babe in a womb that rocks the world.
When it came time to release Captured by Moonlight Book 2 of the Twilight of the British Raj I had to have my daughter Lana—the daughter God gave me to keep—as the model on the front cover.
My two daughters are bookends of joy in my life, thanks to our awesome tender-hearted Heavenly Father.
Author Bio: Irish-born Christine Lindsay writes award-winning historical novels. In Shadowed in Silk and Captured by Moonlight, Christine delights in weaving the endless theme of the Heavenly Father’s redemptive love throughout stories of danger, suspense, adventure, and romance. She is currently writing Book 3 to that series, Veiled at Midnight. The Pacific coast of Canada, about 200 miles north of Seattle, is Christine’s home.
Captured by Moonlight
Prisoners to their own broken dreams…
After a daring rescue goes awry, the parched north of India grows too hot for nurse Laine Harkness and her friend Eshana. The women flee to the tropical south…and run headlong into their respective pasts.
Laine takes a new nursing position at a plantation in the jungle, only to discover that her former fiancé is the owner…and that Adam has no more to say to her now than he did when he crushed her years ago. Why, then, is she still drawn to him and to the tiger cub he is raising?
Eshana, captured by her traditional uncle and forced once more into the harsh Hindu customs of mourning, doubts whether freedom will ever again be in her future, much less the forbidden love that had begun to whisper to her. Is faith enough to live on? Or is her Savior calling her home?
Amid cyclones and epidemics, clashing faiths and consequences of the war, will the love of the True Master give hope to these searching hearts?
Christine posts inspirational articles 3 times each week on her blog www.christinelindsay.org
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