Family Focus
"Miniature Mimics"
by Grace Fox
B.C. Christian News' Island Insight, June 2007
The other day I read about a pastor who preached a sermon on parenthood one Sunday morning. "Like it or not, our kids will grow up to be just like us. In all honesty, that thought scares me," he said. He paused for a moment and, looking across the congregation, added, "Does it scare anyone else?"
One hand shot up. The audience chuckled and the pastor's face turned red - the little hand belonged to his six-year-old son!
Parents - like it or not, we're raising kids who are prone to be just like us. They watch our actions, they sense our attitudes, they listen to our words, and they mimic their observations.
That's okay when they mirror our positive behaviors. Seeing them share a treasured possession or open a door for a senior citizen makes us smile. Hearing them say thanks to a friend for an act of kindness makes us swell with pride. Watching them give their best effort to their daily chores or homework makes us want to reward ourselves with a pat on the back for a job well done. But proud thoughts of personal or parenting perfection take flight when these little people reflect our negatives.
I'll admit I found it challenging to be a stay-at-home mom with three children less than four years of age. Some days taxed my mental and physical capacity to the limit. Changing diapers, wiping runny noses, vacuuming up food messes, soothing crying babies, and picking up toys day in and day out made me weary. Inventing games and activities, answering non-stop questions, and settling quibbles exhausted me. On more than one occasion, I vented my weariness and frustration in a not-so-nice and much-too-loud tone of voice.
I remember the day when one daughter wanted to play with the other's doll. She grabbed for the toy but was met with a resounding "no!" She responded with an equally loud retort. The situation snowballed into a mini-crisis as shouts and hollers torpedoed across the room.
"Girls! Stop yelling!" I said in a voice loud enough for the neighbours to hear. Both girls stopped and stared at me.
"Why?" asked the eldest. "Why should we stop? You yell at us, so I can yell at my sister." Her words silenced me as the painful truth sunk in. How could I expect my daughters to practice self-control and verbal respect if my behavior was teaching them otherwise? I sought my children's forgiveness and asked the Lord to change me lest I lead them down a wrong path.
The knowledge that our children mirror our attitudes and actions should motivate us to live blameless lives. If we want our kids to grow into godly men and women, then we ought to model godliness in everyday matters such as the way we treat our spouse, our choice of literature and TV shows, and our attitude toward money and material goods. We ought to embrace the values that God says are important and seek to honor Him in all things. When we fail, we can model humility by asking forgiveness and starting afresh.
The apostle Paul viewed the Philippian believers as his spiritual children. He wrote a letter encouraging them to "keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you" (Philippians 4:9 NLT). No doubt he labored to set a positive example because he cared for their well-being.
As parents, let's do the same for our kids' well-being. Let's behave in such a way that when they grow up to be just like us, it's a good thing!
