Posts Tagged ‘afraid’

Replace Fear with Confidence and Peace

Monday, November 12th, 2012

Yesterday morning in church, our worship team led a rousing rendition of “Hosanna” by Paul Baloche. One of my favorite songs, this is, because it reminds me that God’s presence washes away our fears.

I’ve nearly completed an intensive fall speaking schedule. Everywhere I’ve traveled, I’ve met women who’ve spoken honestly with me about their fears. Here are some of the things they’ve said:

  • “I’m afraid my kids are developing friendships with the wrong crowd. I see what’s happening but they won’t listen to me when I talk with them about the importance of hanging out with kids who will have a positive influence on them.”
  • “I’m afraid for my daughter’s future as she struggles with cancer.”
  • “I’m afraid for my marriage. My husband’s addicted to pornography, and I don’t think I can deal with this anymore.”
  • “I’m afraid for my son and his children as they deal with my daughter-in-law’s mental illness.”
  • “I’m afraid to get on a plane. How do you do what you do when it involves so much air travel?”

Those examples merely touch the tip of the iceberg called fear.  This issue is universal, and it’s not going to disappear anytime soon. But there’s hope for those of us who wrestle with scary stuff. It’s found in the truth of who God is and in the promise of His presence.

Imagine! Our heavenly Father created the universe with a spoken word. He parted the Red Sea, fed thousands with a few fish and loaves, and He raised the dead. This is our God! This is the One who calls us by name and knows the number of hairs on our head. This is the One who promises to never leave or forsake us, to be our fortress, and to give us strength. Why, then, do we feel afraid? Because we focus on our circumstances rather than on His presence and promises.

Psalm 34:4-6 says, “I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me, freeing me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy: no shadow of shame will darken their faces. I cried out to the LORD in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from all my fears.”

Today I’m feeling a bit scared about my looming book deadlines. If I had nothing to do but write, I’d feel more confident about meeting those deadlines. But life’s not like that. I have a lot of other responsibilities, and I want to spend time with my grandkids, too. So I ask God for wisdom, for strength, and for courage. And He answers when I focus my thoughts on Him and His promises rather than on the stuff that unnerves me.

How about you? Of what are you afraid today? Focus your thoughts on God’s promises and presence. Read and reread and re-reread Psalm 34:4-6. And take a few minutes to listen to “Hosanna.” Doing these things will set you on the right path and slowly replace your fears with confidence and peace.

Facing an Unknown Future?

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Here’s an article I wrote about facing an unknown future (I inadvertently overlooked posting it with the photo earlier).

If you’re facing an uncertain future and you’re feeling fearful, then I believe you’ll find this piece helpful.

A Good Question to Ask When We Feel Afraid

Friday, March 16th, 2012

Relevant questions reveal a lot about what people think and the reason for their behavior. Lawyers use them. So do life coaches. And parents.

David used them, too. The Psalms record numerous songs and prayers he wrote throughout his lifetime, and many contain questions. On one occasion, as he ran from enemies determined to capture or kill him, he asked, “I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?” (Psa. 56:4,11).

That’s a very good question, simple and direct. It helps us focus our spiritual eyes where they belong—on the almighty, all-wise, all-powerful God who presences Himself with His people at all times. When we truly acknowledge who He is and chose to trust His character, fear loses its grip on us. Here are some examples of how this has worked in my life:

When my husband suffered a major reaction to a wasp sting last fall, I asked myself this question and found comfort. I knew that the incident was no surprise to God, and that He would care for me if anything happened to my hubby.

When I wonder whether or not our overseas ministry will have enough volunteers to fill the necessary slots this summer, I ask myself this question and find confidence. God is a master at working out the details.

As technology forces change in publishing and marketing techniques, I ask myself this question and discover peace. I’ll do what I can knowing that God says nothing can thwart His purposes, and He controls my destiny.

I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?

If you’re facing a difficulty right now, then pause and reflect on who God is. Read the Psalms and discover who He claims to be. Praise Him for these characteristics. Thank Him for the promises He’s given you. When you’ve finished doing these things, ask yourself this question: “I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?” I guarantee you’ll find a new perspective.

Photo courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Mistake That Causes Us to Make Mistakes

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Doing women’s ministry means hearing lots of personal stories from other gals’ lives. Nothing saddens me more than hearing them express regrets for making certain choices.

Sometimes these choices are moral issues; sometimes not. Here are some examples:

  • I shouldn’t have become involved in a relationship with so-and-so. I’ve had nothing but heartache ever since.
  • We shouldn’t have bought the house in which we live. Doing so has put ‘way too much financial pressure on us.
  • I shouldn’t have spoken angry words at so-and-so. I wrongly jumped to conclusions before opening my mouth, and my words hurt her.
  • Years ago, I sensed God asking me to take a risk. I refused because I was afraid. Now I feel as though I missed His plan for my life.

My first response is to encourage women to remember that God is sovereign and to not become mired in regrets. When our hearts honestly desire His glory, He can beautifully turn negative situations around.

My next response is to ponder the underlying reason for these choices in the first place. Here’s my hypothesis, found in Mark 12:24—“Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.” Jesus spoke these words to the religious leaders of His day. How do they apply to us?

  • A woman fears spending her life alone. In haste, she gets involved with a guy who shows interest. Later she discovers things about him that she wishes she’d known before giving her heart away. Perhaps, if she’d known the power of God in her life, she would have trusted Him to either bring a good man to her in His timing or to help her learn to be content as a single.
  • A couple take on crippling debt to live in a house they don’t really need. Why? Because they don’t know the Scriptures that encourage them to be content living with less.
  • Someone chooses to speak angry words over holding her tongue. Why? Because the Scriptures about speaking life-giving words have not been acknowledged.
  • Someone refuses to accept God-given risks.  Why? A lack of familiarity with His promises of presence and provision and a lack of trust in His power to do what He says He will do.

God has our best interests in mind and He promises to guide us continually, but we have to do our part, too. Being familiar with the Word and trusting God to do what He says is vital. Not doing these things is a big mistake—one that we can easily avoid. And when we avoid this mistake, we can live life without regrets. Sounds good to me. How about you?

Photo courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Baby Jesus has Grown Up

Friday, December 9th, 2011

Christmas approaches bringing familiar strains: “Away in a manger, no crib for a bed…the little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head…”

"Away in a manger..."

I love that carol, especially when sung by children’s sweet voices. The lyrics transport me to another place and time, to that star-studded night in a distant land. They take me to a dark and lonely stable where a nervous young husband coaches his bride through childbirth’s groans and writhes. They help me envision a young couple wrapping their infant in a blanket and gazing on His face with wonder, awed at the privilege of holding God incarnate in their human hands.

Imagine the baby Jesus cooing, crying, sucking at his mother’s breast. Squinting through newborn eyes. Wrapping his wee fingers around Joseph’s man-sized thumb. Demanding nighttime feedings. Spitting up on Mary’s shoulder.

Now imagine baby Jesus all grown up. Need a little help with that? Try this description, courtesy of John the Baptist:

“And standing in the middle of the lampstands was someone like the Son of Man. He was wearing a long robe with a gold sash across his chest. His head and his hair were white like wool, as white as snow. And his eyes were like flames of fire. His feet were like polished bronze refined in a furnace, and his voice thundered like mighty ocean waves. He held seven stars in his right hand, and a sharp two-edged sword came from his mouth. And his face was like the sun in all its brilliance.

“When I saw him, I fell at his feet as if I were dead. But he laid his right hand on me and said, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the living one. I died, but look—I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and the grave’” (Revelation 1:13-18).

Wow. This season, we celebrate the baby Jesus—the newborn wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger fast asleep as sheep and cows stand reverently nearby. He deserves our adoration, but let’s not forget to worship Him as the King of kings and Lord of lords. He is indeed, the living one who holds the keys of death and the grave. He’s our Savior, our Hope, our Peace, and our Joy not just in this season, but forever.

Take time this busy season to ponder John’s description of the grown up Baby Jesus.  What part of it grabs your attention the most? Why?

Photo courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Key to Living Well

Monday, November 28th, 2011

Psalm 119 is one of my all-time favorites because it’s loaded with spiritual truths designed to help us lead abundant lives. Its impact on me started ‘way back in my elementary school days when I attended Pioneer Girls club every Wednesday evening. The club’s key verse was Psalm 119:105: “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”

God's Word -- the light that illumines my path.

I memorized the verse then, and it remains in my brain today. It’s a truth that never grows old. As long as I live, God’s Word will show me how to live well.

When I walk the path of parenting, the Scriptures give me principles to help me raise my kids. They give me practical strategies to keep my marriage strong. They teach me how to respond to people who treat me unkindly, how to manage my money, and how to regard authority. When I feel afraid, God’s promises shine light into the dark, scary places. When I face major decisions and don’t know which way to go, His Word directs me. There is nothing that God’s Word fails to address.

God’s Word holds the key to living well. It’s a lamp to guide our feet and a light for our path.  There’s no need to flounder in confusion. There’s no reason to languish in defeat. Knowing God’s Word – and doing what it says – is the key to living well. Do you believe this is true? I hope so!

Question: Do you have a favorite verse in Psalm 119? If so, what is it?

Photo courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My Secret to Inner Peace

Monday, May 30th, 2011

John 14:1 says, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and trust also in me.” Verse 27 says, “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

The command is clear—don’t let my heart be troubled or afraid. Okay. I get that. But how is that possible when the news is full of reports about floods and tornadoes and wild fires? Closer to home, how can I experience peace after learning that a lifelong friend is being moved into palliative care as her valiant fight with cancer draws to a close?

Last week was a tough one. A profound grief filled me upon hearing of my girlfriend’s situation. A physical heaviness settled into my chest and my tears flowed. I had three major speaking engagements, and I honestly wondered how I’d get through them without crying.

My friend and I are the same age. We attended the same Sunday school and mid-week girls’ club while growing up. We shared secrets. Laughed together. Graduated from high school together. I was maid of honor at her wedding. Now she’s saying goodbye to her husband, her kids, and her grandbabies while I’m free to linger here and enjoy mine. It feels unfair that our lives have taken such different paths. And why, though her husband has soaked his pillow with his tears while pleading for God to heal his best friend, has God said no?

I know what a troubled heart feels like. Thankfully I also know what it feels like for peace to overrule. How did I come to experience this peace in the midst of grief?

Here’s my secret: I’ve chosen to do what John 14:1 says—to actively trust God in this situation. He has promised eternal life to all who place their saving faith in Him. My friend did this as a child, therefore, she’s guaranteed a home in heaven. In a short time, she’ll take up residence there. Her suffering will end. And best of all, she’ll meet Jesus face to face.

If I allow my thoughts to linger on what seems to be unjust, and if I focus only on the pain that my friend and her family are experiencing right now, then my heart will indeed remain troubled. But Jesus said, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and trust also in me.” And so I choose to trust, even when I don’t like what’s happening.

How about you? What do you do to find peace when your heart’s troubled?

Photo courtesy of www.christianphotos.net

3 Characteristics of True Friendship

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

What does true friendship really look like?

What are the characteristics of true friendship?

I guarantee it runs deeper than Facebook. Here are three characteristics that I glean from the friendship between David and Jonathan:

“One day near Horesh, David received the news that Saul was on the way to Ziph to search for him and kill him. Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God. Don’t be afraid,” Jonathan reassured him. “My father will never find you! You are going to be the king of Israel, and I will be next to you, as my father, Saul, is well aware.” So the two of them renewed their solemn pact before the LORD. Then Jonathan returned home, while David stayed at Horesh” (1 Samuel 15-18).

#1 – True friendship means being willing to go out of one’s way to lend encouragement. Scripture says David and his motley crew were roaming the countryside, trying to escape Saul and his henchmen.  They must have been difficult to find, but Jonathan took the time and made the effort to locate his friend because he knew he needed encouragement.

How does look in today’s world? We need to take the time and make the effort to encourage others in need. Yes, life is busy. We’re all busy.  But truth be told, sometimes we just need to stop the rush long enough to pray with someone, send a greeting card, or make a phone call.

The finger’s pointin’ at me today. I’m sweating over preparing several workshops for an upcoming conference, but a friend just learned that her husband has three months to live. What to do? She needs encouragement, so I’m having supper with her in the hospital cafeteria tonight and trusting God to multiple my hours so I can finish the workshop prep.

#2 – True friendship means helping one another keep the right focus. Jonathan encouraged David to stay strong in his faith in God. He could have planned a strategy to get rid of Saul so David could return home and get on with his life, but he chose a better way.

What a great example for us today! We, too, need to encourage our friends to keep the faith. To live God-honoring lives. To rise above the status quo. To settle for nothing less than God’s best even when it’s tough.

#3 – True friendship means spurring one another on to become what God has intended. “Don’t be afraid,” said Jonathan. “My father won’t find you. You’ll be the king of Israel, and I’ll be next to you.” I love this picture. You see, humanly speaking, Jonathan was heir to the throne. He saw life from God’s perspective, however, and knew that David was God’s choice. In essence, he was saying to David, “Face your fears! Go for it! I’m with ya all the way!”

We, too, need to encourage our friends to face their fears and pursue God’s purposes for their lives. We need to reassure them that we’re there for them, cheering them on through thick and thin.

What are your thoughts? What characteristics do you value in true friendship?

Photo courtesy of www.christianphotos.net

What Makes Believers Different?

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

Scripture says Jesus’ followers are supposed to be salt and light, right? How does that happen? Here’s my two cents’ worth:

God’s presence is the key that sets us apart from the rest of the world. His Holy Spirit lives in us 24/7. If we allow Him full control, then He fills us with peace, patience, joy, gentleness, love, and wisdom. He teaches us how to behave in a people-respecting and God-honoring manner.

Practically speaking, that means we don’t yell and stamp our feet or slam the door behind us when we don’t get our own way. We don’t cheat on our income taxes. We stay true to our spouse. We turn off the TV when it’s broadcasting smut. Get the picture? God’s presence in us is supposed to make us different than the average Joe. But I think there’s more.

I believe His presence produces courage in us. Whether facing personal problems or global crisis, followers of Christ can emulate confidence. That doesn’t mean we never feel afraid, but it means we know how to deal with the fear when it strikes and we refuse to let it consume us.

When people look at us, they see something different – or at least they should! They ought to see character qualities and inner strength that attract them and cannot be counterfeited.

“For your presence among us sets your people and me apart from all other people on the earth,” said Moses (Exodus 33:16). I think he’s right. How about you?

 Question: How do you think God’s presence sets His people apart from all others on the earth?

Insights About Fear and Praise

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

Yesterday I rode a Gold Wing motorbike for about six hours between Pasco and Snohomish, Washington. I usually cherish riding time because it gives me uninterrupted opportunity to ponder, pray, and praise. But yesterday’s experience was different. I pondered alright, but my thoughts sent me careening down a road shadowed with worry about a situation I’m currently facing. As the miles passed, my angst about this situation grew. I knew I had to do something and do it quick or fear and anxiety would consume me.

Past experience has taught me that praise is a powerful force when fighting fear. And so I put my head-knowledge into practice. I praised God for being sovereign in all (not merely some) circumstances. I praised Him for being wise, and for being faithful, and for being merciful. I praised Him for His strength and for His unfailing love. I also praised Him for redeeming our mistakes and turning them into something useful and good when we love Him. The result? Peace washed over me, slowly replacing my angst with a calm assurance that God was in control and I could rest in Him.

Praise isn’t a natural or easy response when messing with negative emotions. It takes effort and discipline to lasso and corral one’s thoughts. It requires deliberate action to turn them around and to focus them on the Truth of God’s promises. The effort is worth it, for then and then alone is when peace is restored.  

Psalm 35:9,10 describe how I felt yesterday upon making that effort: “Then I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be glad because he rescues me. With every bone in my body I will praise him: “LORD, who can compare with you?”

Fear’s weight lifted from my shoulders. I was finally able to relax and enjoy the ride and the beautiful scenery through which we passed. As we rounded a bend in the road to see majestic and snow-capped Mt. Rainer towering in the distance, I thought of God – the One who spoke it into being – and my heart sang, “Lord, who can compare with you? Surely I can trust You with every circumstance of my being.”

Today the same fear threatens to engulf me again. But I refuse to let it harm me. I’m rejecting its force by applying the power of praise as I did yesterday. There’s a battle raging, but praise will ultimately win.

Can you relate? What insights can you share with us about applying the power of praise when you feel afraid?