Posts Tagged ‘Anger’

Three Suggestions for Developing a God-Honoring Perspective

Friday, January 25th, 2013

Life gets complicated sometimes, doesn’t it? I’ve blogged about how mine took an unexpected turn two weeks ago when my left Achilles tendon partially ruptured. Then, last Sunday my “good” knee gave out, so my mobility is now limited to my bottom (I’m gaining new skills at scooting across the floor!) and my wheelchair. No weight-bearing allowed on either leg.

My injury means canceling a ministry trip to Moscow. It also means canceling a weekend retreat I’d planned for businesswomen. My husband and I likely won’t be able to attend our annual staff conference in Romania this spring, either. Besides adjusting our schedule, my husband is hosting our missions booth without me at Missions Fest Vancouver this weekend, and he’ll do the same in February for Missions Fest Alberta.

And then there are the practical implications of my new normal. I can’t even stand to fetch a coffee mug from my cupboard. But that’s the least of my concerns, really.

All this to say…life often heads a direction we don’t choose. That direction might involve our marriage, kids, health, employment, or any number of things we hold dear. A childhood friend of mine just learned that the cancer, for which she’s had treatment, has returned and spread. Another gal I know struggles with the stress of raising a child with special needs. And yet another wrestles with raising her kids alone after her husband took off with another woman.

When stuff happens, we decide how to respond. It’s easy to whine, feel ticked-off or cheated, but that attitude takes us down the wrong road. Our challenge is to maintain a God-honoring perspective. How do we do that? Here are three suggestions:

  • Give thanks. Sounds trite, perhaps, but it’s true. I give thanks for the simplest things now—I can reach the water tap in my kitchen, hoist myself up the stairs to my bedroom at night, and sleep in my own bed. Giving thanks uproots negativity and plants joy in its place.
  • Remember God’s sovereignty. Nothing takes God by surprise. He’s either sovereign or He’s not—there’s no halfway. He’s not scrambling willy-nilly to fix the unexpected. He’s “got our back.” He’s there for us, offering to answer our cries for help and infuse us with His strength.
  • Be open. Ask God to reveal Himself to you in new ways through the unexpected. Ask Him to glorify Himself through the situation, whatever it is. Keep your eyes and ears open to the Holy Spirit’s voice, and allow Him to show you the treasures hidden in the darkness.

Why is having a God-honoring perspective so important? Because Jesus says so.

One day He told His disciples that He’d go to Jerusalem, suffer many terrible things, be killed, and then rise again. Peter reprimanded Jesus saying, “Heaven forbid! This will never happen to you!” Jesus turned to him and said, ”Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s” (Matthew 16:22,23).

Strong words, He spoke. They challenge me to sit up and pay attention. Seeing life’s challenges from a human point of view causes frustration, anger, and even bitterness. But seeing them from God’s perspective reassures us that our challenges are not in vain and we’re not alone as we walk through them.

What challenges are you facing today? Seek to maintain God’s perspective, and you, and those around you, will be blessed.

Photo courtesy: http://mrg.bz/onjocH

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A Single, Life-Altering Thought

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011

Canada celebrated the late Queen Victoria’s birthday last weekend. I celebrated, too, by turning off my computer and escaping for two days alone with my husband. It was so restful that I’d be tempted to do it again this weekend if I wasn’t speaking in Edmonton!

This bald eagle perched on a tree, overlooking the park where we re-created for a day.

While on this mini-retreat, I played Scrabble, reflected, and read. The book I’d picked up was titled Communicating for a Change by Andy Stanley and Lane Jones. The content didn’t capture my imagination and whisk me away to another place and time, but it did challenge me to think about how I prepare my messages. Over and over, it reminded me to focus on one single thought rather than dispel too much information. Good stuff. I recommend this book to anyone who does public speaking.

Anyway, I returned home on Monday evening. Early the next morning, I settled into my black leather loveseat, coffee and Bible in hand. “What do You have for me today?” I asked the Lord as I opened my journal and wrote the day’s date.

These are the verses I read: “In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered and set me free. The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? Yes, the Lord is for me, he will help me” (Psalm 118:5,6).

I read these Scriptures with a question in mind: What single thought grabs me? The answer came back: “The Lord is for me.” The statement is simple but life-altering! Imagine!

God – the One who spoke the universe into being – is for us!

God – the One for whom nothing is impossible – is for us!

God – who conquered death once for all – is for us!

Sometimes we think of God as the big guy who sits in the heavens and hovers over us with a baseball bat, watching for our failures and waiting to clobber us for doing wrong. But these Scriptures paint a much different picture.

God is for us. He loves us. He died for us. He cheers for us, like a parent in the grandstand cheers for her child who runs the bases after swinging the bat and hitting the ball. He wants us to succeed, to shed the gunk that weighs us down—fear, unforgiveness, anger, shame, and the like—and run with endurance and success the race that is before us.

Tonight I’ll be speaking to a group of nearly 400 women. Tomorrow evening I’ll speak to another group the same size. I’ll be honest—I feel nervous. What if I mess up during my presentation? What if I forget my train of thought? The possibility makes my heart ker-thump and sets butterflies loose in my tummy.

But then I remember this single, life-altering thought: The Lord is for me. I’ll meditate on it as I drive to the venue, and throughout the evening as the clock ticks toward my time on stage. The Lord is for me. He will help me. The Lord is for me. I will not fear.

Take this single thought and make it your focus for the day, my friend. Then take a moment and tell us how it applies to you.

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Accountability

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

The principle of accountability changed my life. I still remember the day someone explained it to me as I grieved my broken engagement.

“The way your fiancé has treated you is wrong,” said one of my professors. “God will hold him accountable for his attitude and actions.” His words filled me with a sense of smug anticipation, but not for long. “Yes, God will hold him accountable for what he’s done,” repeated the prof. “But He’ll hold you accountable for your attitude toward this young man.”

I reveled in the thought of my former fiancé losing a few jewels in his heavenly crown but the thought of my being in the same boat was another story. I tried to imagine myself fidgeting before God someday, scrambling to justify my resentment. That thought unnerved me. “Well done, good and faithful servant,” met my liking far more. And so, I began to deal with my attitude, confessing the anger and bitterness and asking God to change my heart. I didn’t experience overnight results, but in the end, I enjoyed inward freedom.

Thirty years later, the principle of accountability continues to challenge me. Anytime I feel slighted or hurt, I recall my professor’s wisdom based on Hebrews 4:13—“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.” No matter how unfairly another person treats me, I’m responsible for my attitude. I can’t control what they do or say, but I can control how I respond…and I must.

If Christ lives in me, there’s no room for resentment or unforgiveness.

How has the principle of accountability impacted your life?

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Let Peace Rule

Friday, October 15th, 2010

What do you do when you’re feeling angry at someone? Do you allow negative thoughts to fan those feelings into flame? Or do you try to douse them before they turn into a wildfire?

I’ll be honest. I’ve allowed the negative to rule at times. Believe me, the outcome isn’t pretty. Anger and angst leave my attitude  stinkin’ like a heap of smoldering ashes. The worst part is…that destruction results directly from my choice to let the fire roar rather than put it out before it grows and spreads. My bad. Scripture challenges me to a higher, more honorable behavior. Colossians 3:12-15 says:

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.”

Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts, it says. Easier said than done when dealing with difficult people, right? But it’s not impossible when we follow God’s fire-safety instructions…

  • Clothe ourselves in mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. In other words, practice the Golden Rule.
  • Understand human nature and know that people will mess up. Make allowance for people who, for example, have never learned how to resolve conflict in a healthy way, or who don’t know what love and respect look like because they were raised in a home void of positive role models.  
  • Forgive those who offend us. Our physical, mental and emotional well-being will thank us. Besides, forgiveness is not optional, seeing as Christ has forgiven us for our mess-ups.
  • Clothe ourselves in love. Do random acts of kindness and pray for others, especially those who annoy or hurt us.
  • Oh yeah…one more thing. Always (not sometimes) be thankful.

If left to fulfill these instructions in our own strength, we’d be facing a hopeless situation. The only way we can do these things is through the power of Jesus Christ in us. And when we do them—even when we don’t feel like it—we’re choosing to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. We douse the negative sparks before they fan into flame and wreak havoc in our lives.

What other actions have you taken that evidence your desire to let the peace of Christ rule in your heart?

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A Healthy Church

Monday, June 14th, 2010

What’s the secret to optimum spiritual health in the lives of individual believers and ultimately the Church? It’s simple, really.

Optimum spiritual health both individually and corporately happens when we live in the fear of the Lord. What does that mean? It means we possess a reverential awe for who God is – holy, compassionate, forgiving, generous, powerful, sovereign and all-wise. That respect for Him transforms our attitudes and actions so that we reflect Christ to a watching world. Here’s what that looks like in real life:

  • A woman grows tired of her listless marriage. She’s tempted to find her emotional needs met by flirting online. No one will ever know, she reasons. But she understands that God cannot be fooled therefore she chooses not to follow her feelings. She opts to be faithful to her husband and pours her energies into making her marriage last.
  • Another woman is wounded by a coworker’s gossip. She’s tempted to retaliate but she cannot shake God’s command to pray for those who persecute you. And so she chooses to pray for the good of her coworker rather than spread unkind words about her throughout the office.
  • Yet another woman receives news of a loved one’s tragic death. Despair and anger overwhelm her and she’s tempted to shake her fist at God for sleeping on the job. But then she recalls that God is sovereign. Even when bad things happen, He’s able to turn them into something good. Remembering these truths changes her perspective and brings hope that causes an unbelieving friend to ask probing questions about her faith.

The fear of the Lord takes precedence over emotions, and decisions are made based on what honors Him rather than what makes us feel good. That’s the life that God honors.

Acts 9:31 says that the church throughout Judea, Galilee, and Samaria became stronger as the believers lived in the fear of the Lord. It didn’t say the church became stronger when the pastors preached better sermons or people gave bigger donations or more programs were implemented. Rather, it became stronger as individual believers lived in the fear of God. They walked in obedience to His Word. They lived according to His ways. They did what He said, and everything else fell into place.

If we want healthy churches, let’s do our part. Let’s walk in the fear of the Lord. Imagine what our churches would look like today if every believer did so. We’d turn the world upside down for Jesus Christ!

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An "Aha" Moment

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

Have you ever had an “aha” moment? You know, a time when something suddenly made sense…something that had perhaps puzzled you until then?

This morning I read about Joseph’s “aha” moment and it brought tears to my eyes (Genesis 45:3-9). Imagine how he must have felt when he realized that God Himself had ordained his circumstances in order to fulfill His purposes!

About 20 years had passed since his brothers had thrown him into a pit and then sold him into slavery. Twenty years — that’s a long time to brood and plan revenge. Finally his chance comes to get even, but Joseph refuses to stoop so low. Recognizing God’s sovereignty frees him from any hint of bitterness. It allows him to embrace his brothers and rejoice at being reunited with them.

I had an “aha” moment a couple years ago when I looked back over difficult circumstances and suddenly saw God’s plan in action. When my husband and I were first married, we lived in Nepal where he worked as a civil engineer. We lived in a mud and rock hut with a thatch roof, no electricity, no running water, and no indoor plumbing. I struggled with isolation and loneliness, culture shock, and language learning. We had our first child while living there, and I had no older women to show me how to care for this new baby. When our second child was born with medical issues that required an immediate return to North America, I struggled with reverse culture shock.

Over the years, I often wondered why God asked us to go through what we did, only to bring us back to NA. And then came the “aha” moment.

Now we’re the directors of International Messengers Canada, and one of our roles is to provide member care for our missionaries. At the first IM conference we attended, I was sharing this testimony with our missionary women in Eastern Europe when these words came from my mouth: “And so, ladies, when you struggle with language learning, I know how you feel. When you struggle with loneliness, I understand. When you go back to your countries and struggle with reverse culture shock, I get it!” That’s when the light came on in my head. Aha!!

God had a plan. He was sovereign over every detail in our lives. He knew exactly what He was doing when He put us into that overseas situation and then took us back to NA. He was preparing us for a ministry that would begin more than 20 years later.

We don’t always get to see God’s plan — in some instances, we’ll have to wait until we reach heaven. But whether we experience an “aha” moment here on earth or beyond the pearly gates, we can rest in the knowledge that God has a plan and is in control. Let’s allow Him to be God — in that way, we can respond as Joseph did, free of bitterness and anger.

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