Posts Tagged ‘envy’

Envy

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

Meet Envy, the green-eyed monster. She admires a neighbor’s house and drools with desire. She gazes at another woman’s wardrobe and wishes hers could compare. She listens to her best friend talk about her wedding anniversary getaway and fights a twinge of anger as she fakes happiness on her behalf.

Envy is a subtle monster. The moment she discovers the door to our hearts cracked open, she sneaks in and unpacks her bags. Then she sets to work, whispering words that breed discontent:

  • “Did you notice your neighbor’s new living room furniture? Nice, eh? A lot nicer than yours.”
  • “So-and-so’s taking a Caribbean cruise for Christmas. Too bad you can’t do the same.”
  • “Your coworker met her weight loss goal. She looks great, doesn’t she? Face it, girl. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never look as good as she does.”       

If we let Envy have her way, she’ll mess with our minds and mix our emotions into a sour froth. The result? We develop an attitude of discontent with what’s ours. It can affect everything from material possessions to talents to marital status. Before long, nothing’s good enough. We’re not happy with what we have because someone else has more or better.

Scripture warns us against Envy. Proverbs 23:17,18 says, “Don’t envy sinners, but always continue to fear the LORD. You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed.” In this context, we’re cautioned not to envy wrong-doers who seem to have all the breaks. But Envy can also wiggle her way into our hearts within our circle of friendships among Christian brothers and sisters. Either way, Envy is not an association we want to keep.

When Envy comes knockin’ let’s refuse her entry. Let’s keep our focus on the Lord and make a habit of thanking Him for knowing our needs and faithfully providing them. If we do this, He promises to reward us and to not disappoint our hope. Our role is to block Envy out; God’s role is to fulfill His promise. I can’t explain what that looks like in real life, but I know God is more than capable of looking after those details.

If Envy has been an unwelcome visitor in your heart, how have you encouraged her to leave?

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Comparison Trap

Friday, June 4th, 2010

Do you ever compare yourself to other people? C’mon, be honest. I’ve fallen into that trap a few times, and guess what? It’s not a comfy place to land.

Author John Ortberg addresses the problem of comparison in his book, If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat: “I must ruthlessly refuse to compare my talents with anyone else. Comparison will lead to pride and a false sense of superiority if I’m ahead of someone, and misery if I’m behind. Or worse, I will discount and bury the irreplaceable treasure that the Lord of the Gift has given to me alone…I must come to identify, cultivate, invest, prize, and enjoy the gifts that have been given to me. The Lord of the Gift is very wise. He knew exactly what he was doing when he created you. He is well-pleased that you exist. He has entrusted to you everything you need to fulfill the purpose for which you were created.”

I use that quote when I teach about overcoming the fear of inadequacy, and I find its simple wisdom a good reminder to keep my focus where it needs to be – on God alone. The moment I look around and start comparing myself and my lot in life to others, my perspective blurs.

Peter’s outlook blurred in John 21:18-22. Jesus had just finished telling him by what kind of death he would glorify God and commanding him to “follow me” when he turned around and looked at John. “What about him, Lord?” he asked.

You’ve gotta love Peter. And you’ve gotta love Jesus for the answer He gave: “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

What a wise nugget, eh? God has a plan for each of us, and only He knows both the minute details and the bigger picture. Our focus needs to be on Him, listening to His voice and following that plan for our lives. The moment we start comparing our path with another’s, we step into a trap that leads only to discontentment, jealousy and envy.

Next time I find myself falling into that nasty trap of comparison, I’ll remember Jesus words and apply them to my situation: “If I want so-and-so to do (or have) such-and-such, what’s that to you? As for you, follow me.”

Any other sage words about avoiding the comparison trap?

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