Posts Tagged ‘grief’

From Mourning to Joy

Monday, February 6th, 2012

There it is. My word for 2012 – joy – has popped up again. This time it appeared in Psalm 30:5 and 11 – “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning…You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.”

What a promise for those who grieve! What a statement of hope for men and women in pain.

Last night my heart broke when I read my emails. Two women shared stories of losing their husbands recently – one through cancer, and the other through a marriage breakup. Both women are mourning their loss. Their nights are long and lonely, and their days are empty as they seek to make sense of what’s happened and how to embrace life with its new normal.

Joy isn’t part of these women’s vocabulary at this point on their journey. It might be difficult for them to even imagine that it will one day return, but it will. Slowly, slowly the pain will dissipate. Darkness will turn to dawn as God fills their hearts with an ever-increasing peace that passes human understanding. Laughter will live again.

I read these emails and whispered a prayer for these women. A prayer that they will soon be clothed with joy. That each morning will bring renewed hope. That each new day will bring restored faith and confidence in the One who loves them and knows their deepest hurts.

If you’re experiencing a nighttime of the soul, then this is my prayer for you, too. May God ease your pain and fill you with joy. May today put a dance – a joyful dance – into your step. You are loved!

Photo Courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Newsborn’s Body Recovered at Dump — Part 1/2

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

The Province’s headline dated Tuesday, February 9 grips me and demands a response. The story tells of a 20-year-old unmarried woman who delivered a full-term baby boy in her boyfriend’s bathroom as he slept on the couch. When the boyfriend woke, she told him that she’d miscarried. They wrapped the baby’s body in a towel, put him in a garbage bag, and then tossed him in a nearby dumpster.

Two weeks later, a tipster phoned police who launched a three-day search for the baby’s remains. Dozens of officers sifted through 10-meter-deep trash at a landfill until they discovered the wee body. An autopsy will determine the infant’s cause of death.

A police spokeswoman said, “Whether or not the baby was alive, it’s an unimaginable act by a mother.” A psychiatrist at B.C. Women’s Hospital said that neonaticide (the killing of a baby within its first 24 hours) is “usually a young mom who acts out of fear of rejection, of some sort of disapproval from others. Usually this woman is immature and has poor problem-solving skills. She hides herself giving birth and she panics.”

I read this story and knew I had to respond or I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Here are two thoughts in regard to this tragedy:

 * Today’s society teaches that babies in the womb are merely blobs of tissue, not living beings. It argues that mothers have the right to determine whether or not their babies live or die prior to birth, and in fact, up to birth (ie: partial birth abortions). Who or what, then, determines the invisible line between a mother exercising her rights and a mother who suddenly faces criminal charges for taking her infant’s life? And who decides when the baby ceases to be called “it” and becomes “he,” as the police spokeswoman referred to him?

I find this report ironic, in a way. If society teaches young men and women that human life is disposable, why is it shocked when a young mom throws away her newborn?  Police are recommending charges of “offering an indignity to a dead body.” Please explain how tossing this infant’s remains in a public dumpster differ from the indignity of disposing of an aborted child in a hospital dumpster.

Something inside me protests at the inconsistency and insanity of it all. Where will it end?

* The psychiatrist says that neonaticide is usually caused by the fear of rejection, “of some sort of disapproval from others.” Interesting observation…and totally true. Unfortunately, this fear affects more than just the immature and those with poor problem-solving skills.

The fear of rejection impacts women of all ages and from all walks of life – business  professionals, homemakers, singles and marrieds. It causes 250,000 evangelical Christian women each year to abort their babies to avoid being gossiped about within their own congregations. It’s the force that causes women from all faiths or non-faiths to hide their failures, wear plastic smiles, and cover grief and shame with a mask. The fear of rejection labels transparency as a threat rather than a tool to help the healing process.

As I travel and speak to women’s groups, I see the results of the fear of rejection over and over again. I’m so sick of its vice-like grip on women’s hearts. And I’m sick of its source. Satan has one mandate – he’s out to steal, kill, and to destroy. And fear is one of his major tactics to see that mandate fulfilled. This newspaper story adds one more tally mark on his endless victim list. Enough is enough, don’t you think?

This post is long enough for today, but I’m not finished yet. One of my goals for this blog is to take readers deeper in their faith, and that’s what I intend to do. Join me on Friday’s post as I address the only way to rise above the fear of rejection. And please feel free to post your thoughts about this subject.

A Promise Kept

Friday, August 7th, 2009

 It was Sunday, July 26 – the third morning of the evangelistic family camp at which Gene and I were ministering in Poland. We’d been awake for a half hour when our cell phone rang. The caller was our son back in Canada, and the news he delivered was sad: Gene’s 90-year-old father had suffered a massive stroke and died three hours prior.

Gene and his dad, Tim

Gene and his dad, Tim

My first thought was, Oh no – not again! Sixteen months ago, my father passed away while I was in Eastern Europe and I was unable to attend his funeral. The thought of experiencing the same thing a second time nearly knocked the wind out of me.

Gene and I hugged and cried together for a few minutes before having to head out for the morning’s staff meeting. As we shared the news with our staff – North American and Polish alike – they immediately covered us in prayer. Later that day, we were able to reach our kids by phone. They said they’d asked the people in their churches to pray for us, too.

With nine days remaining before our scheduled return to Canada, our main concern was that we’d remain focused on our responsibilities and the people to whom we’d come to minister rather than be distracted by our grief. God honored our desire through the prayers of His people, and in doing so, kept the promise He made in Psalm 29:11 – “The LORD gives his people strength. The LORD blesses them with peace.”

Our schedule at camp was rigorous. Each morning began with a staff meeting at 7:15. Following breakfast, we attended a short worship service followed by small group Bible lessons and then English classes. The afternoons were filled with preparation time for the next day’s lessons, crafts, or a trip into town or to a local tourist attraction with the Polish campers. At 5 p.m., Gene and I taught parenting workshops. Each evening hosted games, campfires, testimonies, and more workshops. We fell into bed after 11 p.m. Did we need strength, especially in light of the news we’d received? Oh yes. Did we need peace? Absolutely. Did we receive them? Without a doubt, the answer is yes.

I want to publicly say thanks to the Lord for keeping this promise. He enabled us to finish the camp well. And He blessed us with the privilege of returning in time to attend Dad’s memorial service on Sunday, August 9th

I also want to say thanks to those of you who prayed for us while we were overseas. May God’s strength and peace be yours today and always.

Journal Entry for Thursday, March 26

Friday, March 27th, 2009

I feel like I ate all day. Maybe that’s because I did. It all began with breakfast with an IM couple – Jeff and Andrea O’Connell. Until then, I didn’t realize that finding a restaurant open at 9 a.m. was unusual. Neither did I realize that finding a restaurant with a breakfast menu was also unusual.

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