Posts Tagged ‘Jacob’

Yearning for Approval

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

Enjoy this Alberta sunrise with me!

How much of our behavior is influenced by a yearning for others’ approval and acceptance? Genesis 28:6-9 makes a fascinating study in this regard.

Isaac had expressed his disapproval of Canaanite women. “Don’t choose your wife from this group,” he’d warned his son, Jacob. Jacob listened to his dad’s advice and left the country to find a life partner from among his uncle Laban’s daughters (28:1,2)

Enter Jacob’s brother, Esau. He knew the warning Isaac had given to Jacob, and he knew Jacob had heeded the advice. That meant trouble for him. You see, Esau had married a couple of Canaanite women. When he realized his father’s obvious dislike of his wives, he must have felt like he’d messed up and fallen from his dad’s favor. How did he respond? He ran out and married a cousin, doing exactly what Isaac had commanded Jacob to do. Interesting, eh? His yearning for approval influenced his behavior.

My hunch is that many men and women do the same thing today. We long for others’ approval so we do things we might not do otherwise. For example, we choose a career based on someone’s approval rather than on our passions. We sacrifice moral standards to secure someone’s favor. We marry someone based on others’ favorable opinions about this person rather than on our own feelings toward him/her. We even dress according to others’ approval rather than according to our personal tastes in fashion, color, and modesty.

What’s at the root of this behavior? An inaccurate understanding of God’s great love and unconditional acceptance. Think about it. If we truly grasped His love, we’d feel completely fulfilled and cease striving to earn man’s favor.

Esau undoubtedly yearned for his father’s favor. Marrying a cousin—someone upon whom Isaac smiled—was his method of obtaining it. Can you relate in some way?

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Happy, Happy, Happy?

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Once upon a time I learned a Sunday school chorus that went something like this: “Happy, happy, happy, happy. Happy are the people whose God is the Lord.” As a kid, I enjoyed its simple, lilting tune and easy words. But my opinion changed over the years.

I think my problem lies with the word happy and the implication that God’s followers enjoy a blissful, carefree life.  Nothing could be further from the truth. Real life can be downright tough sometimes. Nearly every week I receive emails from readers – many of them Christian women – who have experienced abuse or have been hurt deeply in the past. They know how to smile on the outside, but on the inside, they’re crying for help and trying to make sense of what’s happened.

The Bible is chock-full of biographies – real people with real problems. Many of them were devout God-followers. And my guess is that they didn’t feel happy, happy, happy all the time. Over the past few days, I’ve been reading about Jacob. This guy was royally ripped-off by his father-in-law.

In Genesis 31:18-41, Jacob explodes, “What is my crime? What have I done wrong to make you chase after me as though I were a criminal? You have rummaged through everything I own…For twenty years I have been with you, caring for your flocks. In all that time your sheep and goats never miscarried. In all those years I never used a single ram of yours for food…No, I took the loss myself! You made me pay for every stolen animal, whether it was taken in broad daylight or in the dark of night. I worked for you through the scorching heat of the day and through cold and sleepless nights. Yes, for twenty years I slaved in your house! I worked for fourteen years earning your two daughters, and then six more years for your flock. And you changed my wages ten times!  (note: another version says “reduced my wages”).

Happy, happy, happy, Jacob was not. So, what enabled him to deal with the mistreatment handed to him by his father-in-law? I think the secret’s found in recognizing God’s sovereignty in his life. “If the God of my father had not been on my side…you would have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen your abuse and my hard work. That is why he appeared to you last night and rebuked you!” (31:42).

Despite enduring two decades of mistreatment, Jacob held fast to the knowledge that God was on his side. And that’s likely what carried him through the dark days when he wondered whether his circumstances would ever change or improve. That’s what gave him the ability to truly smile even when he felt anything but happy, happy, happy.

So long as we’re warm and breathing, we’ll experience problems. We might be tempted to feel as though God has abandoned us. We might feel like He’s left us alone to figure things out, or that He’s turned against us. Our emotions might try to tell us any number of untruths, but let’s remember, as Jacob did, that God is on our side. He sees what’s happening to us, and those hurtful things do not go unnoticed. At some point, whether on this earth or in eternity, He will be our defense.

How about you? What gives you hope when you feel anything but happy, happy, happy?

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Families Can Be So Weird!

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

As a kid, I remember watching a TV show titled, “The Munsters.”  Lily, the family matriarch, was a housewife who used a vacuum that worked in reverse, thereby blowing dust about the mansion. Her husband, Herman, was a good-natured, green-skinned, 7-foot buffoon, employed at a local funeral parlor. Grandpa, sarcastic by nature, spent his days concocting potions in the basement laboratory and owned a pet bat named Igor. Eddie – apart from being a werewolf and sleeping in a coffin – played the role of a typical American boy. And Marilyn….well, compared to the rest of her family, she seemed almost normal. Her family didn’t view her that way, though. They considered her the “odd one” of the bunch and pitied her. It’s too bad her suitors wouldn’t stick around. I wonder why.

Each character was unique in a strange sort of way, and each believed he or she was normal. In one episode, Lily opened a beauty salon because she thought other women would want to model her appearance. Needless to say, her business fell flat.

I chuckle at “The Munsters” and how, in a spoofy way, it depicted families worldwide. Let’s admit it – many lean toward the weird side. Dysfunction is so rampant that it seems the norm. That was true back in Bible days, too.

Remember Rebekah? This conniving mother encouraged and aided Jacob, her favorite son, in deceiving his blind father so he could receive (a.k.a. “steal”) his brother’s blessing (Genesis 27). Later, Jacob fled to his uncle Laban’s territory and fell in love with his cousin, Rachel. He asked permission to marry her. Uncle Laban said yes, but then he tricked Jacob on the wedding night by bringing Rachel’s older sister, Leah, into the bridal tent. Waking up beside his sister-in-law must have given Jacob a royal shock!

Besides that drama, we find Esau trying desperately to please his parents by marrying a wife who would hopefully meet their approval (they didn’t like his other two wives, apparently – Genesis 28:6-9). And we find Leah feeling rejected and jealous because Jacob obviously loved Rachel more than her (Genesis 29:31-35). Imagine celebrating Christmas or Thanksgiving with this bunch!

You know what amazes me? The fact that God accomplishes His purposes despite our dysfunctional shortcomings. If He used only perfect people, He’d be outta luck. And so, He takes us, as needy as we are, and weaves us into a divine tapestry. And He remains faithful.

Maybe you look at your family and think it warrants a TV show of its own. Dysfunction’s not the easiest thing in the world to deal with, but remember – nothing is impossible for God to fix, or to give you the strength to cope. Let Him love your loved ones through you, and let Him work in their hearts. Keep on praying. Keep on trusting. Keep on smiling. And remember – you might consider yourself as the only normal one of the bunch, but they might be viewing you otherwise!

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Rebekah the Cunning

Monday, January 12th, 2009

Rebekah may have been gorgeous on the outside, but her inside could have used a makeover. Genesis 27 reads like a soap opera as it tells the tale of her deceit.

First, she plays favorites with her son Jacob, convincing him to lie to his father to receive his brother’s blessing. As if her own deceitfulness wasn’t enough, she drags her boy into it, too. No “Mother of the Year” award for her!

When brother Esau discovers what’s happened, he plots to kill Jacob. Someone catches wind of the plan and reports it to Rebekah, so she tells Jacob that he’d best leave town in a hurry. Rather than tell her husband Isaac the truth about all the trouble she’s caused, she hints at Jacob’s need to leave by saying he needs a wife, “I’m sick and tired of these Hittite women,” she says. “I’d rather die than see Jacob marry one of them.”

Goodness….this woman seems to have an issue with integrity. She has a cunning heart, one that’s sly and sneaky. The result? Deceit, division, and disappointment within her family.

What a difference between Rebekah and the woman described in Proverbs 31! The heart of her husband trusts in her, and her children stand and bless her.

Rebekah stands on the left. Proverbs 31 lady stands on the right. Which one do I resemble? I hate to admit it, but without Christ in my life, I’m just like Rebekah — sly and sneaky, trying to control things so they turn out the way I want them to. Playing favorites. Telling lies.

What’s the secret to becoming more like Proverbs 31 lady, whose beauty is more than skin deep? Verse 30 says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.”

There it is — the fear of the Lord. Respecting Him, honoring Him, obeying Him, giving Him the reverence that He’s due. Rebekah slipped up in that department, and her entire family paid the price. May God guard our hearts so true beauty — His beauty — shines from within and blesses those around us.

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