Posts Tagged ‘jealousy’

Comparison Trap

Friday, June 4th, 2010

Do you ever compare yourself to other people? C’mon, be honest. I’ve fallen into that trap a few times, and guess what? It’s not a comfy place to land.

Author John Ortberg addresses the problem of comparison in his book, If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat: “I must ruthlessly refuse to compare my talents with anyone else. Comparison will lead to pride and a false sense of superiority if I’m ahead of someone, and misery if I’m behind. Or worse, I will discount and bury the irreplaceable treasure that the Lord of the Gift has given to me alone…I must come to identify, cultivate, invest, prize, and enjoy the gifts that have been given to me. The Lord of the Gift is very wise. He knew exactly what he was doing when he created you. He is well-pleased that you exist. He has entrusted to you everything you need to fulfill the purpose for which you were created.”

I use that quote when I teach about overcoming the fear of inadequacy, and I find its simple wisdom a good reminder to keep my focus where it needs to be – on God alone. The moment I look around and start comparing myself and my lot in life to others, my perspective blurs.

Peter’s outlook blurred in John 21:18-22. Jesus had just finished telling him by what kind of death he would glorify God and commanding him to “follow me” when he turned around and looked at John. “What about him, Lord?” he asked.

You’ve gotta love Peter. And you’ve gotta love Jesus for the answer He gave: “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

What a wise nugget, eh? God has a plan for each of us, and only He knows both the minute details and the bigger picture. Our focus needs to be on Him, listening to His voice and following that plan for our lives. The moment we start comparing our path with another’s, we step into a trap that leads only to discontentment, jealousy and envy.

Next time I find myself falling into that nasty trap of comparison, I’ll remember Jesus words and apply them to my situation: “If I want so-and-so to do (or have) such-and-such, what’s that to you? As for you, follow me.”

Any other sage words about avoiding the comparison trap?

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Abe’s Attitude

Friday, January 9th, 2009

Abraham’s life is soooo inspirational to me. He was nowhere near perfect, but his heart, overall, was bent on knowing God.

This morning as I read in Genesis 22, I saw two verses that I’ve not noticed before. That chapter is about Abraham’s infamous test of obedience. He comes through that experience with flying colors. And then he hits a wall. Verse 20 says, “Soon after this, Abraham heard that Milcah, his brother Nahor’s wife, had borne Nahor eight sons. Verse 24 says, “In addition to his eight sons from Milcah, Nahor had four other children from his concubine.”

Why are these verses included? What’s the point anyway? Here’s my thought:

Abraham’s life had not been an easy one. He’d trusted God when He told him to leave everything familiar and go to a strange country. He’d trusted God for a promised son even though it meant more than 20 years of waiting. He’d taken a detour when he slept with Hagar, and later felt the pain of sending her and Ishmael into the wilderness to keep peace with Sarah. Most recently, Abraham had just come through the most challenging experience of his life, when God asked him to be willing to sacrifice Isaac. His actions had proved his faith in God and marked a huge spiritual victory. And then comes verse 20.

“Soon after this, Abraham heard that Milcah , his brother Nahor’s wife, had borne Nahor eight sons.” Add the concubine’s four kids, and the brother has 12 offspring.

How did Abraham feel when he heard that news? He’d been faithful to God, willing to obey to the nth degree, and yet he had only one son by Sarah. Nahor had eight sons by his his wife. I wonder if Abraham compared his situation with Nahor’s and felt a twinge of jealousy. Maybe hearing this news, shortly after his spiritual high, bred some questions: “God, this isn’t fair. I’ve done so much on Your behalf, and yet You’ve blessed my brother more than me. What’s with that?”

It’s common to hit a wall after a spiritual victory. Sometimes we hear of someone else’s blessings and, with a twinge of jealousy, we compare our situation to theirs. Perhaps our faith journey has been more trying than theirs. It seems as though theirs is a stroll down Easy Street while ours is an ongoing trudge through Deep Valley. One glimpse at their situation tells us that they appear more blessed even though we’ve gone through tougher stuff. “What’s with that? It’s not fair, God.”

Yes, I wonder how Abraham felt. Scripture doesn’t tell us, but I have a hunch that he may have struggled a bit. After all, he was human like me and you. I can identify because I’ve struggled with comparison, too.

In the end, though, we have to trust that God knows what He’s doing. He sees the big picture. He’s just and righteous and makes no mistakes.

“God, please keep my (our) eyes on You. Make me aware if I begin comparing my situation with others. Give me a heart that rejoices when others are blessed, and help me trust You for every detail of my life. Amen.”

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