Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

The Key to Living Well

Monday, November 28th, 2011

Psalm 119 is one of my all-time favorites because it’s loaded with spiritual truths designed to help us lead abundant lives. Its impact on me started ‘way back in my elementary school days when I attended Pioneer Girls club every Wednesday evening. The club’s key verse was Psalm 119:105: “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”

God's Word -- the light that illumines my path.

I memorized the verse then, and it remains in my brain today. It’s a truth that never grows old. As long as I live, God’s Word will show me how to live well.

When I walk the path of parenting, the Scriptures give me principles to help me raise my kids. They give me practical strategies to keep my marriage strong. They teach me how to respond to people who treat me unkindly, how to manage my money, and how to regard authority. When I feel afraid, God’s promises shine light into the dark, scary places. When I face major decisions and don’t know which way to go, His Word directs me. There is nothing that God’s Word fails to address.

God’s Word holds the key to living well. It’s a lamp to guide our feet and a light for our path.  There’s no need to flounder in confusion. There’s no reason to languish in defeat. Knowing God’s Word – and doing what it says – is the key to living well. Do you believe this is true? I hope so!

Question: Do you have a favorite verse in Psalm 119? If so, what is it?

Photo courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Has Infidelity Struck Your Marriage?

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

If the stats are correct, then one in three men has had an extra-marital affair. One in four women have fallen into this trap, too. If infidelity has struck your marriage, then you might find this article series helpful as you seek to rebuild your relationship.

On Monday I wrote that I’ll be changing my devotional blog posting schedule here. For the past two years I’ve posted devotional blogs every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The schedule change means you’ll see them on Mondays and Fridays from now on. In between, however, I’ll post links to helpful and fun articles and other blogs. I’m also going to figure out how to upload video blogs! Stay tuned to meet me face-to-face here occasionally.

Photo courtesy: www.dreamstime.com

Labor Day Logic

Monday, September 5th, 2011

Speaking of labor, here’s a tidbit of logic that proves true in every realm of life: “Laziness leads to a sagging roof; idleness leads to a leaky house” (Ecclesiastes 10:18).

Saggy roof, leaky house

Homeowners understand this verse’s relevancy. If we don’t care for our houses, they’ll fall into disrepair, right? But the principle behind this verse applies to other things as well…

  • Marriage. Keeping it healthy and vibrant takes effort. Laziness in this relationship leads to a lousy relationship or another statistic in the divorce court.
  • Parenting. Be involved in the kids’ lives, volunteer in their schools whenever possible, know who their friends are. Be aware of what they’re watching on TV, the lyrics they’re listening to, and what they’re doing on the internet.
  • Health. Laziness in this context leads to sagging body parts! Get off the couch and take a brisk walk or buy (and use!) a gym membership. ‘Nuff said.
  • Work. Who’s gonna get axed first when cutbacks come?
  • Dreams. We might entertain lofty dreams of what we hope to own or accomplish someday, but those dreams will never be fulfilled if we don’t work towards them.

As summer ends and the season changes, real life begins again. Let’s guard against laziness and idleness, and let’s be diligent about every aspect of our lives. For me, this means returning to regular gym workouts after a summer away due to ministry overseas, being laid up for a week, and spending a week on a houseboat with my family. How about you?

Question for you: Has laziness or idleness crept into your life? If so, how has it impacted you? What changes must you make as a result?

Photo courtesy: http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-abandoned-house-rimagefree1815616-resi3440358

What’s Your One Wish?

Friday, June 3rd, 2011

If you could ask God for anything you wanted, what would it be? These possibilities come to mind when I brainstorm this question (in no particular order):

  • good health
  • a long life
  • a strong marriage
  • the ability to undo a past mistake
  • wisdom
  • more hours in each day
  • financial security
  • assurance that what I do day in and day out really matters

Well, guess what? You can ask God for whatever you want. John 15:7 says, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!”  Sweet, eh?

When I read these words, I immediately thought, Grant me a fruitful life, LordUse me to make an eternal difference in the lives of countless people around the world. I figured this sounded like a good Christian prayer. After all, the next verse says, “When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.” Surely God will grant my wish.

Remain in Christ and your life will be fruitful.

The more I ponder this wish, however, the more I realize that I can do better. My wish shouldn’t be for a fruitful life; it ought to be for the ability to remain in Christ. If that wish is granted, then fruitfulness will come automatically. John 15:5 says, “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”

And so, if I could ask God for anything I want, my wish is this: That He will teach me what it means to remain in Him. I see this as a foundation stone for my faith. It impacts every aspect of my life—choices, priorities, values, attitudes, and more. I look forward to seeing how God will answer.

How about you? If you could ask God for anything you wanted, what would it be?

Photo courtesy: www.christianphotos.net

If You Could Pray for Only One Thing

Monday, February 7th, 2011

The preschooler ripped the wrapping from her Christmas presents and squealed with delight at the contents. “Thank you, thank you, Mommy!” she cried. Then she looked at her mother with wide eyes. “Is there more?”

Many big girls ask the same question. Take Eve, for instance. God had already given her a long list of gifts: a perfect husband, a fail-proof marriage, the pleasure of living in a botanical garden, and everything physical needed to thrive. Best of all, He’d favored her with His presence. Yes, it seemed that creation’s First Lady had everything, but still she yearned for more.

We tsk-tsk Eve for her behavior, but we often play copycat. God has already given us so much and yet we yearn for more money, bigger homes, fewer pounds, nicer kids, better spouses, and greater success. Our prayers are riddled with requests.

In her book Women on the Edge, Cindi McMenamin says she recently took her “shopping list” to God in prayer. Reciting one need after another exhausted her. Later that morning, she read Psalm 27:4—“One thing I ask of the LORD; this is what I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”

“There were lots of things I was asking of God that morning. But the psalmist asked for only one thing: to dwell in God’s presence, seeking His face and glory,” writes McMenamin. “I realized that if seeking God had been my one request—my only request—I would not have needed anything else I’d been praying for.”

McMenamin says, “When God becomes my Sole Desire, I am able to face whatever comes my way. Jesus said, ‘Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:33).

“The rest of my prayer that morning became this: Simplify my heart, Lord, to have just one request: To know You and dwell with You intimately.

McMenamin’s honesty challenges me to examine my heart. How about you? If you were allowed only one request in your prayers, what would it be—“God, please give me more _______,” or “God, please grant my desire to know You more intimately”?

As we begin a new year, let’s learn from McMenamin’s testimony and the psalmist’s example. It’s true that God invites us to bring our requests before Him, but let’s ensure that our primary yearning is to know Him. When that’s our heart’s desire, everything else falls into place.

(Reprinted from January’s issue of “Growing With Grace,” my free monthly online newsletter. You can subscribe at www.gracefox.com).

Family Camp Schedule

Monday, August 9th, 2010

Our Polish family camp was held in the city of Karpacz. It reminds me of Banff, Alberta – an alpine tourist destination with fun things to see and do. It offers a perfect getaway for folks seeking a family vacation, and it provides a wonderful place to host our camp.

The word camp often conveys the impression of being rustic – tents and outhouses in the woods, cooking over an open fire and sleeping under the stars. That’s a far cry from our family camp – it was held in a hotel. Granted, it wasn’t a 5-star facility but it was totally adequate for our purposes.

Our days were packed from beginning to end. We began with a staff prayer meeting at 7:15. Breakfast followed – rolls, sliced meats, cheeses, tomatoes, cucumbers, and sometimes yogurt. Cold cereal – Cocoa Puffs – was served with hot milk. And after breakfast, we enjoyed a short chapel with praise and worship songs in both English and Polish before dismissing for our daily English reading class.

The English reading class can be likened to a Bible study. 

Exploring God's Word

 Adults and teenagers split into small groups where they read Scripture based on Jesus’ parables. Our job was not to teach the study. Rather, it was to facilitate learning and discussion. Many of our campers had never read a Bible and they’d certainly never heard that a personal relationship with God was possible through Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection. They’d been taught by their priest that salvation is possible only through good works and that he alone provides access to God (for payment). This class was the nuts-and-bolts of camp because it revealed truth to those who had never heard it.

An English grammar class followed. Campers were divided into groups according to their English-speaking competency. Gene and I taught a group of high-school students. They loved playing games such as Uno to learn the English words for colors and numbers. One day during class we walked to a nearby store to buy ice cream treats. Enroute, they saw and named objects for every letter in the English alphabet. Ie: ‘d’ was for dog, ‘t’ was for tractor, etc.

Lunch followed the morning classes. Then came the afternoon schedule – crafts or free time for families to spend a couple of hours sightseeing.  

Beads are a favorite craft

 At 5 o’clock, we ran two workshops (parenting and addictions) and an optional class to practice conversational English. Most campers attended the workshops and absorbed the information like human sponges. After supper, we played group games or enjoyed skits and then settled into chapel with more singing, two staff testimonies and an object lesson for the kids. By then it was 9:30 P.M. Most folks were tired, but they weren’t ready to shut ‘er down yet. They put their little ones to bed and then showed up for the marriage workshop that Gene and I taught. Thirty people – four nights in a row – attended these classes that ran for an hour. In 11 years of fulltime Christian camping ministry in Canada, I’ve never seen that kind of hunger here.

And so went a typical day at camp. Hours and hours of interaction with campers made it possible to build relationships that our career staff will follow up. With email and Facebook technology, we can further those relationships ourselves, too.

Anyone interested in coming with us next year? Actually, we could use volunteers for camps in Slovakia, the Ukraine and Romania as well as in Poland. The harvest is great but the laborers are few.

Home Again

Friday, August 6th, 2010

Having no internet access for nearly two weeks made it impossible for me to journal about our Poland family camp experience in real-life time. Now that I’m home again, I’ll blog for a few days about our experience in retrospect.

Perhaps the element that strikes me most is the peoples’ openness toward spiritual things. One woman said outright that she was seeking God and came to the camp hoping to find Him there. One man said he’d never been in such a group of people who prayed directly to God – he’d always communicated to God via a priest. These comments and others proved that spiritual hunger and interest is very much alive in Eastern Europe. So is the desire to learn how to raise kids and how to do marriage well.

Gene and I taught four workshops about marriage. Because of the days’ busy schedules, our sessions began at 9:45 PM. Yes, you read that correctly. It should have been bedtime, but that wasn’t the case for the 30 individuals and couples who showed up for the hour-long classes. I was thrilled to see so many attend. Many of the young adult singles (most of whom do not have godly role models) commented that our messages and personal example gave them hope for a God-centered marriage someday. PTL!

This year our team also offered workshops about parenting and about how to cope when a loved one suffers from alcoholism. These, too, were well attended. Our prayer is that these wonderful Polish people will have discovered new and practical strategies to help them face the challenges of everyday life. And our praise is that God is so big that He can use the likes of those of us on the team to accomplish anything of eternal value.

A Healthy Church

Monday, June 14th, 2010

What’s the secret to optimum spiritual health in the lives of individual believers and ultimately the Church? It’s simple, really.

Optimum spiritual health both individually and corporately happens when we live in the fear of the Lord. What does that mean? It means we possess a reverential awe for who God is – holy, compassionate, forgiving, generous, powerful, sovereign and all-wise. That respect for Him transforms our attitudes and actions so that we reflect Christ to a watching world. Here’s what that looks like in real life:

  • A woman grows tired of her listless marriage. She’s tempted to find her emotional needs met by flirting online. No one will ever know, she reasons. But she understands that God cannot be fooled therefore she chooses not to follow her feelings. She opts to be faithful to her husband and pours her energies into making her marriage last.
  • Another woman is wounded by a coworker’s gossip. She’s tempted to retaliate but she cannot shake God’s command to pray for those who persecute you. And so she chooses to pray for the good of her coworker rather than spread unkind words about her throughout the office.
  • Yet another woman receives news of a loved one’s tragic death. Despair and anger overwhelm her and she’s tempted to shake her fist at God for sleeping on the job. But then she recalls that God is sovereign. Even when bad things happen, He’s able to turn them into something good. Remembering these truths changes her perspective and brings hope that causes an unbelieving friend to ask probing questions about her faith.

The fear of the Lord takes precedence over emotions, and decisions are made based on what honors Him rather than what makes us feel good. That’s the life that God honors.

Acts 9:31 says that the church throughout Judea, Galilee, and Samaria became stronger as the believers lived in the fear of the Lord. It didn’t say the church became stronger when the pastors preached better sermons or people gave bigger donations or more programs were implemented. Rather, it became stronger as individual believers lived in the fear of God. They walked in obedience to His Word. They lived according to His ways. They did what He said, and everything else fell into place.

If we want healthy churches, let’s do our part. Let’s walk in the fear of the Lord. Imagine what our churches would look like today if every believer did so. We’d turn the world upside down for Jesus Christ!

Feeling Overwhelmed

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by life’s wind and waves? I have. I think I’m feeling like that right now. We’re headed into Odessa, Ukraine in 48 hours to teach marriage seminars and I feel ‘way too small for the task.

Over the past couple of days, we’ve chatted with some missionaries who invested nearly two decades in the Ukraine. They’ve told us of perceptions of marriage in that country. They also told us that the principles we plan to teach about communication and companionship, etc. might be regarded as fairy tales.

I’m fully aware that this could happen – we saw the same response in Slovakia two years ago. Fidelity within marriage, respect between spouses – these values are challenged as impossibilities, and we appear as wealthy North Americans trying to push western philosophies rather than ordinary husbands and wives who have experienced the fulfillment that comes from doing marriage according to God’s Word.

Another challenge – we’ll be speaking through a translator. That means we must cut half our material out in order to respect the time allotments for each session. What stays? What goes?

Would you please pray for God to accomplish His purposes in and through our team of four speakers? And would you please pray for our physical protection and health during our time in Odessa? We’ll be there from Wednesday through Monday. I don’t know how much internet access we’ll have there – I’ll post if I’m able.

In the meantime, I’m finding encouragement in Matthew 14 – the story of Jesus coming to the disciples in the storm at sea. They were afraid, but He reassured them of His presence. In the end, He calmed the storm and the disciples worshiped Him. May my heart be one of worship amidst the wind and waves!

Also in the meantime, I’ll be speaking three times in the next 24 hours at a retreat for our single women. The theme is “Divine Encounters: Glimpses of God in Unexpected Places.” I’m looking forward to presenting this material and praying that it will minister deeply to our women’s hearts.

I must dash. Breakfast will be served in a few minutes, more goodbyes will be said as our families head back to their homes in Romania, Poland, and the like. And then the singles’ retreat will begin at 9 A.M. That’s 1 A.M. PST!

view from my conference room

Obedience and Other Stuff

Friday, May 15th, 2009

We humans are a perplexing bunch, don’t you think? We can justify nearly anything we do. Sometimes it starts with the small stuff. Here’s an example:

I’m working at my computer in the middle of the afternoon when hunger pangs strike. I satisfy them with a brownie despite knowing that an apple would be a smarter food choice. “It’s okay,” I reassure myself, “I needed something sweet.” (Like, duh…a few too many brownies later, I’m frustrated at the bathroom scale for its ever-increasing numbers).

Sometimes the issues are much bigger…

A man sits in our dining room, explaining why he’s leaving his wife of 28 years. “I just need some time to myself,” he says. “I need to think, to sort things out.” (He was having an affair but didn’t realize that we knew about it. He was actually making the break with his wife so he could move in with his girlfriend).

Who are we kidding, anyway? And who was Saul kidding when he blatantly disobeyed God’s commands and then justified his behavior?

1 Samuel 15:1-15 tells the story of Saul fighting the Amalekites. God had issued his command: “Go and completely destroy the entire Amalekite nation – men, women, children, babies, cattle, sheep, camels, and donkeys.” Saul went into battle, but rather than obeying implicitly, he captured the Amalekite king and spared the best of the sheep and the cattle. Then Samuel showed up and demanded an explanation.

“I have carried out the Lord’s command,” said Saul wearing a grin a mile wide (v. 13).

“Then what’s all the bleating of sheep and lowing of cattle I hear?” Samuel asked.

“It’s true that the army spared the best of the sheep and cattle,” Saul admitted. “But they are going to sacrifice them to the Lord your God. We have destroyed everything else.”

Did Saul actually think he could justify his disobedience and get away with it? I guess so. Sadly, it didn’t work. It doesn’t work for us either.

When God tells us to give to the needy, He’s not impressed with excuses such as, “Well, my kids’ sports activities cost so much that I didn’t have anything left to give.” When He tells us to get rid of questionable books or magazines, He’s not impressed with answers like, “But the fizzle left my marriage years ago. These stories replace the romance I don’t have in real life.” When He tells us to get involved with missions in North America or overseas, He’s less than excited when we respond, “Who, me? Uh, I don’t have the time right now.”

God wants our obedience, not our reasons for why we do life our own way. More on Monday.