I like to believe I’m in control of my life. In reality, nothing’s further from the truth. Take this week, for instance.
Several months ago, I made plans to take a personal retreat from September 10-20. A waterfront home, nestled among the trees on a little island, was made available free of charge. I’d never done anything like this before, and I looked forward to a rest after our busy summer, to curling up with a cup of coffee and the Word for hours on end, and to working without distractions on my next book. Sounded like bliss! But around the beginning of June, an uneasiness penetrated my thoughts every time I pondered this pursuit. It persisted until I picked up the phone and canceled my reservation.
Was I disappointed? A little. But I’m learning to listen to God’s still, small voice. And I’m learning to obey even when there’s no glaring reason for doing so because there’s inevitably a divine purpose beyond my sights.
On September 10 – the day I’d planned to begin my 10-day retreat – my third grandchild was born a month before his due date. I was in the Little Rock, Arkansas, airport awaiting my flight to Dallas/Seattle when my husband phoned with the news of Caleb’s birth. My first thought was, Thank You, God, for directing my steps and nudging me to cancel that reservation. As a result of my changed schedule, I’ll be home to help Caleb’s mom with cooking, cleaning and childcare so she can (hopefully) rest and recuperate. God is good.
So what about my good intentions to work on my next book project this week? Well, I’ll do whatever I can and trust that God will do His part as I do mine. Psalm 57:2,7 says, “I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me…My heart is confident in you, O God, my heart is confident. No wonder I can sing your praises!”
I have confidence in God because He is ultimately sovereign. He – not me – controls every detail of my life. So long as I’m in tune with Him, I can trust and not be anxious about how the pieces fit together.
How about you? Have you experienced situations like this – when God’s sovereignty over the details of your life became very obvious?