Welcome to Friendship Friday! Today’s guest is Arlene Pellicane, author of 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has been featured on Family Life Today, The Hour of Power, The 700 Club, Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah, and Better. She lives in San Diego with her husband James and three children, Ethan, Noelle, and Lucy.
Q: Arlene, what motivated you to write 31 Days to a Happy Husband?
A: I’m in the stage of life where kids can take over (mine are 2, 5 and 8). I see that’s the case for many wives who pour themselves into parenting or their career. Husbands can be put on the back burner indefinitely yet the marriage relationship is THE priority relationship for any wife. This book helps spotlight the husband for a change!
Q: You’ve developed five guidelines to develop a D.R.E.A.M. marriage. What are they?
A: They are…
Domestic Tranquility – Your husband needs a peaceful haven.
Respect – Your husband needs to respected in his own home.
Eros – Your husband needs to be sexually fulfilled.
Attraction – Your husband needs to be attracted to you.
Mutual Activities – Your husband needs to have fun with you.
Q: How can a wife focus more on the positive aspects of her husband than the annoying qualities?
A: Start by having a thankful heart. Remember how you and your husband met? What tugged at your heart about him? Chances are those characteristics still run strong in your man. Measure the good stuff, recognize the good stuff, and you’ll uncover many treasures in that man you live beside day after day.
Q: What are some ideas to keep the romance and intimacy alive in a marriage?
A: If you have kids and/or a busy schedule, you must schedule time for sex! If you wait until the perfect moment, it may not come until next year. So talk about how you are going to make time for intimacy. Maybe one night a week is your special time to look forward to. I highly recommend a regular date whether it’s weekly or monthly, and an annual weekend getaway. Also, men tend to be more romantic than women. They buy flowers and open doors. We can also be romantic…writing love notes, coming to bed wearing something pretty, or cuddling up at every opportunity.
Q: You remind couples that it is important they plan some time together (without the children). Why do so many couples forget to do this? What can they do together?
A: It’s easy to cave into the routines of life. You have to really make an effort to still date after you’re married especially if you have kids at home. My friend hadn’t gone on a date with her husband in years and finally they went to dinner without the kids. At first, dinner was awkward. They had forgotten how to be alone together without food to cut into tiny pieces or kids to hush. The first date was weird but the next time they went out, they were more comfortable and talkative. You have to keep making connections – just between the two of you.
Readers — enter to win a copy of Arlene’s book by leaving a comment. Simply suggest a cheap but fun date night idea. Winner is chosen randomly.