Conntecting the Dots

31 Days to a Happy Husband–Interview

Welcome to Friendship Friday! Today’s guest is Arlene Pellicane, author of 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has been featured on Family Life Today, The Hour of PowerThe 700 ClubTurning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah, and Better. She lives in San Diego with her husband James and three children, Ethan, Noelle, and Lucy.

Read on to glean some insights about keeping a marriage vibrant. At the end of the post, you’ll learn how you can enter to win a copy of Arlene’s book.


Q: Arlene, what motivated you to write 31 Days to a Happy Husband?

A: I’m in the stage of life where kids can take over (mine are 2, 5 and 8).  I see that’s the case for many wives who pour themselves into parenting or their career.  Husbands can be put on the back burner indefinitely yet the marriage relationship is THE priority relationship for any wife.  This book helps spotlight the husband for a change!

Q: You’ve developed five guidelines to develop a D.R.E.A.M. marriage. What are they?

A: They are…

Domestic Tranquility – Your husband needs a peaceful haven.

Respect – Your husband needs to respected in his own home.

Eros – Your husband needs to be sexually fulfilled.

Attraction – Your husband needs to be attracted to you.

Mutual Activities – Your husband needs to have fun with you.

Q: How can a wife focus more on the positive aspects of her husband than the annoying qualities?

A: Start by having a thankful heart.  Remember how you and your husband met? What tugged at your heart about him?  Chances are those characteristics still run strong in your man.  Measure the good stuff, recognize the good stuff, and you’ll uncover many treasures in that man you live beside day after day.

Q: What are some ideas to keep the romance and intimacy alive in a marriage?

A: If you have kids and/or a busy schedule, you must schedule time for sex!  If you wait until the perfect moment, it may not come until next year.  So talk about how you are going to make time for intimacy.  Maybe one night a week is your special time to look forward to.  I highly recommend a regular date whether it’s weekly or monthly, and an annual weekend getaway.  Also, men tend to be more romantic than women.  They buy flowers and open doors.  We can also be romantic…writing love notes, coming to bed wearing something pretty, or cuddling up at every opportunity.

Q: You remind couples that it is important they plan some time together (without the children). Why do so many couples forget to do this? What can they do together?

A: It’s easy to cave into the routines of life.  You have to really make an effort to still date after you’re married especially if you have kids at home.  My friend hadn’t gone on a date with her husband in years and finally they went to dinner without the kids.  At first, dinner was awkward.  They had forgotten how to be alone together without food to cut into tiny pieces or kids to hush.  The first date was weird but the next time they went out, they were more comfortable and talkative.  You have to keep making connections – just between the two of you.

Readersenter to win a copy of Arlene’s book by leaving a comment. Simply suggest a cheap but fun date night idea. Winner is chosen randomly.

8 Responses to “31 Days to a Happy Husband–Interview”

  1. Twylla Sutton

    One time my husband and I went to McDonald’s for supper and to Rainbow Theatre (a low cost theatre running older movies) for a movie! The Movie cost us $4 (I’m sure it would be more now!) and of course McDonalds is quite reasonable. Even just going out for dessert or coffee is nice just to spend time together.

    • Grace

      There’s a theatre in our city that features “Toonie Tuesday.” We can see a movie for $4 even today! Sometimes we can get a Dairy Queen Blizzard cheap by using a half-price of 2 for 1 coupon.

  2. Sheryl Schnare

    Until I got married, I never understood how this could be a date but…My husband likes it when I go to Home Depot, Canadian Tire or Rona with him to make decisions and purchases for our home renovation projects. After I’ve helped him “hunt and gather” (his words), he’s more inclined to go for coffee and give me his undivided attention. It’s win-win for both and draws us closer as we work together.

    • Grace

      Dave and Claudia Arp write books about marriage. I interviewed them for a “Power for Living” article once upon a time. They suggested turning regular errands into dates. That worked well for them. Sounds like it works well for you, too!


    Before we were married, and before booze was banned on our beaches, we used to love to walk down to the ocean with a bottle of wine and watch the sun set. If I could have a date tonight with my husband, I’d love to go back to the beach to watch the sunset (even without wine!) because I know it would bring back such wonderful memories of life before kids and schedules and so much responsibility 🙂

    • Grace

      Cheap AND romantic! Yup, there’s something special about watching the sunset together, especially at the beach.

  4. Wendy

    Occasionally we will get a sitter or take the kids to grandma’s and go out to dinner and split an entree, and it completely fills us up! Maybe afterwards, we will stop by the grocery store and leisurely stroll through the aisles instead of racing through with all six kids! And we will just enjoy that time together and pick up what we need and maybe throw some chocolate into the cart too…just because we can 😉 That time is when we will talk about our goals and dreams and enjoy the peace and quiet.

    • Grace

      David and Claudia Arp (marriage experts) told me that they would go grocery shopping together as a date, too. He would pick up a bouquet of flowers in the floral department and then give it to her. She’d carry it around the store with her and then put it back before going through the checkout–LOL. It’s the thought that counts.

      My husband and I used to drop off the kids at the church’s midweek kids’ club and then visit our favorite restaurant for a dinner date. One entree would fill us up, too. No sitter. Cheap meal. Great date. You win! Contact me privately at and send me your mailing address, please. 🙂


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