What Do Marriage, Communication, and Jesus Have in Common?

The release of One-Minute Romance for Couples only two weeks prior to Valentine’s Day has brought a flurry of radio interviews. Because the book consists of conversation-starting questions, the media interviews inevitably turn to the importance of communication between spouses.

One statistic says most couples spend only three to four minutes in meaningful communication each day. What happens if this becomes the norm in a relationship? Before long, spouses lose their heart connection. Their relationship grows cold, and they may eventually go their separate ways.

Enjoying a healthy and vibrant relationship requires maintaining consistent communication, but that doesn’t happen on its own—it requires intentionality. The busyness of life may mean we have to schedule time to talk. That may sound stilted, but hey—isn’t it better to schedule talk time to ensure it happens than to miss out because we allowed other things to take priority?

Enjoying a vibrant relationship also requires honest communication—being transparent with each other—and meaningful communication—talking about things that truly matter as opposed to surface-level topics such as the weather, the day’s schedule, and what we want for dinner. It also requires two-way conversation—not only talking but also listening respectfully to our spouse.

The more interviews I do, the more I realize the analogy between this topic and the matter of a believer’s relationship with Jesus Christ. For instance, a vibrant relationship with Christ doesn’t just happen—we need to be intentional about it. We need to schedule time with Him, to read His love letter to us and to talk with Him in prayer. If we allow life’s busyness to crowd out that regular time, we’ll soon find our passion for Him fading.

A vibrant relationship with Jesus also requires our being honest with Him—sharing our deepest fears, desires, and concerns—and focusing on matters of meaning rather than on trivial pursuits. And as in our marital relationship, it requires two-way conversation. We need not only talk to Jesus, but also learn to listen well.

Healthy communication is key to a healthy marriage. So it is key to a vibrant relationship with Jesus, too. Let’s be intentional to keep both relationships strong.