Posts Tagged ‘disappointment’

The Best Way to Begin and End Each Day

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Three decades ago, I realized the importance of dwelling on positive thoughts specifically when I wake and when I fall asleep.

day's end in Oregon

The lesson came after my fiancé broke our engagement. In the first days and weeks following the breakup, I’d fall asleep focused on my pain and feelings of rejection. I’d wake dreading the day, knowing I’d spend it wrestling with disappointment and self-pity. The result? I spiraled into a bin of negative emotions and began believing the enemy’s lies about my being unloved and worthless.

I knew that the content of my thoughts could determine whether or not I could survive the breakup and successfully move on with my life. And so, I took action. I began meditating on Scripture as I fell asleep at night, and in the mornings, before I rolled from bed, I prayed a simple prayer: “This is the day that You have made, Lord. Teach me to rejoice and be glad in it.”

These simple actions made a huge difference for me. The pain eased, replaced with hope and anticipation about my future in God’s hands. They also established a pattern that I’ve tried to maintain ever since.

Beginning and ending our day with thoughts focused on God follows a gentle reminder found in Psalm 92:2—“It is good to proclaim your unfailing love in the morning, your faithfulness in the evening.”

God knows best. He understands how important our thought life is, and because He loves us, He gives us the key to managing it successfully. Let’s do what He says. Let’s embrace His counsel to remember His love and faithfulness when the day begins and ends. Doing so takes effort, but it’s crucial to overcoming fear, stress, and disappointment.

Have you practiced this discipline? If so, what difference has it made in your life?

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Be Still

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

My youngest daughter has befriended a woman in a nursing home, visiting her on a weekly basis for the past few months. Last week I had the privilege of meeting her.

Unlike the other residents, this woman – a single mom of a 19-year-old son – is in her early 40s. Her body is gnarled and crippled not with age, but with rheumatoid arthritis. A large screen TV hangs on the wall opposite her bed, providing a diversion for the hours she spends bedridden. Excruciating pain makes it nearly impossible for her to move, so nurses get her up only once a week. Family rarely visit. And yet she smiles.

How is this possible, in light of the circumstances surrounding her? “I had to make a choice about how I’d respond to life,” says L. “I could be bitter and angry. Or I can accept my lot and be pleasant.” She makes it sound so simple.

This woman’s attitude amazes me. It also challenges me to consider my response in painful situations much less than the one she faces on a daily basis and for which there is no earthly escape.

As I’ve pondered the topic of pain and its purpose in our lives, I’ve thought about how easy it is to be impatient and discontent when life takes a detour filled with disappointment. But then Psalm 46:10-11 comes to mind: “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world. The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress.”

These Scriptures remind me that God is in control even when life appears out-of-control. Our job is to be still and trust Him. He is Commander-in-Chief of the heavenly armies and He not only rushes to our rescue when we cry to Him for help, but He resides with those of us who are His children. He never abandons us. He is our fortress, our refuge in troubled times, and our security no matter what.

As far as I know, L. is not a believer. If she can respond to pain in a positive way, then I can do no less especially with Psalm 46:10,11 in my arsenal. My prayer for you and me is that we’ll apply these truths to our lives. That we’ll learn what it means to truly be still and let God be God even when we don’t understand the purpose for our pain. That we’ll honor God in our attitudes. And that, as we do these things, others will recognize that the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is our help and constant companion.

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“God, Help!”

Friday, August 13th, 2010

My prayer was short and desperate, and I uttered it several times during the night. A vicious stomach flu had invaded our camp and attacked one person after another. Finally it struck Gene. Three hours later it hit me.

The virus kept us awake nearly all night and flattened us with hourly bouts of vomiting and diarrhea. When morning dawned, Gene slowly rolled out of bed and prepared to teach our English class. I remained in the prone position, afraid to roll over lest the slightest movement trigger nausea again.

When the flu first struck a couple of days prior, my friend Ewa had assumed the role of a modern-day Florence Nightingale. She’d attended to other staff and campers; now it was time to check on us. She groaned when she entered our room and saw my green face. “Oh my friend,” she said, handing me a packet of electrolyte powder. “Mix this with a cup of hot water and take little sips over the next hour.” Then she gave me a packet of mystery powder. “Mix this with a small amount of water and drink now. Trust me.” Then she dashed from our room to continue her rounds among the sick.

The reality of spending the entire last day of camp in bed, too weak to sit or stand, left me feeling like a failure. This wasn’t the way camp was supposed to end. I’d planned to help decorate the dining area for the evening’s closing party. I’d anticipated enjoying the banquet and celebrating the campers’ English-learning achievements. The award ceremony was supposed to end the week on a joyful note. But joy was far from what I felt as I lay in bed, listening to the party happening three floors below.

Why did the mission trip end like this for me and several others? I don’t have the answer. The same is true for other disappointments in life. Things happen…situations for which we have no explanation. Tough stuff sometimes, circumstances that flatten us and leave us with strength only to cry a short, desperate prayer: “God, help.” And He does.

In my situation He sent Ewa and her mystery medication. He gave me a much-needed solid night’s sleep when the party noise ended. And He gave me the ability to let go of the disappointment caused by dashed expectations.

How about you? Have you recently experienced a situation in which you could do nothing but cry, “God, help”? If so, what was it? And how did He answer?

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Posted in Devotionals, Travels | 2 Comments »

Dealing with Disappointment

Friday, September 18th, 2009

I’ve had two days to ponder some disappointing news: Moving From Fear to Freedom will be remaindered by the publisher in January. That means it will no longer be available in stores. What happened? Sales didn’t meet a certain standard, just like a gazillion other books pulled from publication after two years in public view.

I know how I struggled over writing this book…the labor pains involved in bringing it to birth. Now I feel like a mother watching someone pull the plug on my baby because he didn’t think it deserved to live. Sounds melodramatic, perhaps, but that’s just how an author feels when this happens.

Couple that with feedback that readers send me:

  • “This book has changed my life. It’s helped me identify fears I didn’t even know I had, and set me free;”
  • “This is the only book I keep on my nightstand, beside my Bible. I refer to it constantly.”
  • “This book gave me the courage to step out and start a home business that I’ve been wanting to start for years.”
  • “Thank you for writing this book. Your honesty has helped me be honest, and as a result, I’ve been able to let go of stuff that’s held me back for years.”

In the past week, two local women have told me they’ll be studying it with their small groups this winter. Good things are happening. God is using it to change lives. But the sales aren’t good enough to keep it on the shelves. Go figure.

As I grappled with my disappointment, the Lord gave me these words: “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, whose thoughts are fixed on you. Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock” (Isaiah 26:3,4).

The key word for me is fixed. My thoughts are tempted to flit and flutter from here to there and everywhere – wondering why marketing efforts didn’t produce more, wondering what more I could have done,  yada, yada. But God says to super-glue my thoughts on Him and Him alone. He has a purpose. He promises to accomplish all that concerns me. He knows what He’s up to even though I don’t understand. And He tells me to trust Him.

It’s been a difficult two days, but it’s been a good learning time. I’m practicing all those things I encourage my readers and audiences to do when they face disappointment. And guess what? I’m beginning to experience peace about it, just like God promised.

How about you? Have you faced a situation in which you fixed your thoughts on God and then experienced His peace?

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