How Do You See Yourself? And Why Does It Matter?

How Do You See Yourself? And Why Does It Matter? - Grace Fox

“I’m just a…” or “I’m only a…” How many times have I heard people describe themselves in apologetic terms? Too many! Sadly, I’ve done the same thing.

“I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”

“I’m only a devotional writer.”

“I’m just learning how to ___________.”

How many times have I heard people describe themselves in apologetic terms such as these? Too many! Sadly, I’ve done the same thing. In fact, those three examples are my own quotes.

Listening to lies about our identity

Why do we do this? Because we’ve listened to negative voices around us rather than embracing the truth about who we are in Christ Jesus.

The Israelites did the same thing. Day after day—for forty days—Goliath taunted them:

“I am the Philistine champion, but you are only the servants of Saul” (1 Samuel 17:8).

His words influenced the Israelites’ self-perception and eroded their courage. Their lowly view of themselves led to defeat.

“When Saul and the Israelites heard this, they were terrified and deeply shaken…As soon as the Israelite army saw him [Goliath], they began to run away in fright” (1 Samuel 17:24).

But then David showed up and brought a fresh perspective to the scene:

“Who is this pagan Philistine anyway, that he is allowed to defy the armies of the living God?” (1 Samuel 17:26)

David turned things around

He didn’t see the Israelites are mere servants of Saul. He viewed them as soldiers fighting in the army of the living God. And he regarded the giant as only a pagan foreigner, not as a mighty intimidator capable of mass destruction. His perception of Goliath removed the fear factor of facing him in battle.

How did David view himself?

His older brother accused him of being proud and deceitful, and Saul said he was “only a boy” incapable of fighting Goliath, but David refused to let others’ opinions determine his self-perception. Instead, he recalled the victories he experienced through God’s help in the past, and he saw himself as a conqueror on the verge of yet another conquest. His view of himself influenced his behavior, and he accomplished a historical victory that day.

Changing perspectives brings empowerment

I remember how empowered I felt when I stopped apologizing for being a stay-at-home mom by eliminating the word “just” from my vocabulary in that context. My self-perception changed. I no longer saw myself as inferior to women my age who were successfully pursuing their career. Instead, I counted myself blessed to pursue my heart’s desire to stay home with my children.

In the past, I’ve wrestled with being branded as a devotional writer. It didn’t help much when a friend in the publishing industry asked, “When are you going to start writing real books?” I’ve had to seek God’s perspective on the writing He’s called me to do, and now I view devotionals as sips of cold water prayerfully crafted to quench the parched soul. Now, when people ask what I write, I say, “I’m a devotional writer.” No apologies for not writing chapter books or novels.

Rather than just learning how to do something new (which subtly carries the connotation of feeble attempts or my teetering on the verge of failure), I am learning how to do something new (which carries the connotation of being gutsy enough to take a risk by tackling a new endeavor). Again, I feel empowered to press on, to learn, to grow, and to develop my skills.

Ponder this

Here are a few personal growth questions to ponder:

How do you see yourself?
What factors have influenced that self-perception?
And how might that perception be influencing your behavior?

How do you see yourself? Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Know you are loved,


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  1. I am finally able to begin disciplining myself so that I stop eating when I know I’ve had enough, and to drink more water. I do a few easy stretches each morning, beginning with arms raised and thanks to God for the morning. I have begun walking some each day on purpose and started cleaning out clutter in the house. Now I’m planning on having a small garden. I feel better already. I honestly feel that I’m getting out of the “rut” I’ve been in for a few years…………………and I hope to be able to be more active this Fall, instead of sitting around because that’s what certain people want me to do. I’m taking charge of my life. God always said he would finish the work he began in me/us.

  2. Hi Grace,
    Thanks so much for being a devotional writer…you have blessed me mightily over the years, starting with me buying your daily devotion book ‘Ten Minute Timeout’s for Busy Women’. It’s been on my bookshelf for several years and has been re read a few times. Now, of course I get your regular encouragement via email.
    You are a real blessing to me and I’m sure the same is for thousands of other women longing to grow in faith and relationship with Jesus.
    Thank you so much for being obedient to the Holy Spirit and the calling on your life.
    God bless you richly in your adventures with Jesus.
    Chris 🙂

    1. Hi Chris! Thank you, thank you for your kind words. It means so much to me, as a writer, to hear from readers whose lives are being impacted by the work God’s called me to do. Notes like this encourage me to keep on writing, knowing that the time spent in solitude is making a difference out there. Know you are loved,

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